What's in a name?

(Thanks to Robin for passing along this fun thingie! Some of this I'd like to believe and some of it I know to be true. I'm stealing Robin's idea and highlighting the absolutely true things in red.)

What Becky Means

You are full of energy. You are spirited and boisterous. You are bold and daring. You are willing to do some pretty outrageous things. Your high energy sometimes gets you in trouble. You can have a pretty bad temper at times. You are friendly, charming, and warm. You get along with almost everyone. You work hard not to rock the boat. Your easy going attitude brings people together. At times, you can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, you pull it together. You are very open. You communicate well, and you connect with other people easily. You are a naturally creative person. Ideas just flow from your mind. A true chameleon, you are many things at different points in your life. You are very adaptable. You are a seeker of knowledge, and you have learned many things in your life. You are also a keeper of knowledge - meaning you don't spill secrets or spread gossip. People sometimes think you're snobby or aloof, but you're just too deep in thought to pay attention to them. You are a free spirit, and you resent anyone who tries to fence you in. You are unpredictable, adventurous, and always a little surprising. You may miss out by not settling down, but you're too busy having fun to care.

What's Your Name's Hidden Meaning?

Annie

I met someone last night who touched my heart. Her name is Annie.

Annie has scleroderma, which is neither contagious nor genetic, and yet years ago her 17-year-old sister died from it. Annie currently is undergoing chemotherapy and respiratory therapy because her lungs are starting to be affected.

We happened upon each other in Staples last night as I was copying worksheets for the children's school and she was having a photograph enlarged of her father on his boat in Maryland. (Her father is a surgeon strictly to support his fishing habit, Annie assures me.) She ramped up from steriods and I naturally chatty, we of course struck up a conversation. And I did something I never did before.

I invited her to church.

See, Annie is mad as hell at God for taking her sister all those years ago. Every year a pastor friend sends her a Bible, marked and tabbed and ready for use, inscribed with these words: "Annie, I know you don't believe in God, but He still believes in you." Every year, Annie sets the Bible aside or gives it away. Her family lives several states away, so most of her support is via phone.

But I believe that Annie believes. She is a respiratory therapist (who can't breathe herself, she jokes) and she works with ill children at an Atlanta hospital. She says she watches the terminal ones die with dignity and grace, and so she can't give in to her fears about her own health. And because I know she can't have it both ways -- be angry at a God she doesn't believe exists -- I asked her for her name so I could pray for her and I told her about the amazing church home we've found.

She passes it every weekend on her way to work. "You mean the one with the recovery banner?" she asks. That's the one. The one where my Jimmy Buffet-loving (she's an officer in his fan club!) husband played a drum set made of trash cans on Easter Sunday. Where jeans and tee-shirts are more normal than skirts and heels. Where she can pick up a Bible, follow along with the service and return it to the shelf when she's done, if she doesn't want to take it home.

Annie is very interested. "Can I wear my 'Life is Beautiful' tee shirt? Will anyone notice my" (gestures toward the large bandage on her neck and the smaller ones in the crooks of her arms).

Absolutely, and not enough to stare and make her feel uncomfortable.

"If I'm not there tomorrow, it's not because I don't want to be there," she assures me after we exchange details and contact information. "This chemo is supposed to be rough, so I don't know how I'm going to feel."

Annie didn't show this morning, so I called her. She hadn't fallen asleep until 8 a.m. and the chemo wiped her out. She thanked me a dozen times for calling to check on her. I promised to call her again mid-week.

She said she was going to call me before then. I hope she does.

Criminal charges are going to be filed

The woman who hit my brother Ben and killed him in November is going to be charged with misdemeanor vehicular homicide. My parents are driving to see the accident scene and speak with the D.A. Monday. Please cover them, the rest of us and the woman who is to be charged with prayer. She has suffered greatly already.

Thank you.

Faith in finances

I posted here about our commitment to tithing this month and I wanted to add an update.

Even though there have been some rough moments, I have felt pretty much at peace about finances this month. I knew we were cutting it close with a week or so until the next paycheck, though.

Yesterday, my dad came by to pick up some groceries for the soup kitchen -- we had to clean out our cabinets and get rid of a rather large stockpile because of the children's allergies -- and he offered me $100 to "help get you through the month." I refused, explained our tithing/financial faith reasons and promised to let him know if we ran short of cash.

While I was at the top of the driveway waving goodbye to him, I decided to check the mail. In the box was a single envelope, a $112 refund check from the hospital.

You can't outgive God!

Pulling an all-nighter (ish)

It's pretty funny. At least, it will be tomorrow.

I agreed to do our church's 8-page newsletter on a program I barely know. I'm rusty, haven't really done this stuff in several years. And I waited until last night to get started.

I shouldn't have been surprised to find that, with six of eight pages finished (and 3 1/2 hours' work done), I saved it, closed it and reopened it to find that none of the changes were saved.

*sigh*

That was 11 p.m. At 1:30 a.m. I gave it up for this morning. I awoke at 7, finished two pages, called for guidance about one element and sent it just about in time for the 10:30 a.m. deadline.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to the library and allergist. And don't call me this afternoon because I'll be napping. I'm old and I can't stay up that late without serious side effects.

Georgia Virtual Academy registration opened today

It took all morning and part of the afternoon, but we officially have applied to Georgia Virtual Academy. Woohoo!

Providing that Geddy had a chance to fax the 10 pages of documentation we already knew about -- and that they went through okay -- that part is done, too. We got back from the post office an hour or so ago, because there were two more printable documents (per child!) that had to be snail-mailed to the K12 office in Virginia.

I'm confident we've done a fair job independently home educating the children over the past six years, but Geddy and I talked it over at length and decided to give GVA a try next school year. It is a public school program where students work at home, so we won't technically be homeschoolers, but that's a technicality we can live with.

With GVA, someone else is doing all the hard stuff (lesson planning, record-keeping, curriculum selection, scope and sequence) and I get to facilitate, supervised by a state-certified teacher for each child. And although we would be willing to spend whatever was necessary to give our children a good education, I can't say it's not an attraction that the program is tax-funded so that the cost isn't further out of pocket to us.

The K12 people I've talked with expect a huge jump in applicants this year, though they all but assured me all three of the children can get in. However, they did recommend quickly registering, completing the online placement exams and getting the required documentation back to them. So if any of you Georgia folks think you might be interested, you need to get on the stick if you want a spot in the program.

I think a couple thousand students participated last year. I will be interested to hear what the final enrollment is for next year, what the "big jump" winds up being. We should get word of our approval in the next couple of weeks, but if for some reason all three children can't get in, we're planning to withdraw all of our applications and continue to independently homeschool.

The program only serves K-8 students, so even if we love it, Larry would only be able to participate for two years. Our family's commitment to the program is for one year, so we'll have to re-evaluate next spring.

Anyway, wish us luck or even pray for us if you're so inclined. I felt a little sick and sad and a lot anxious when I was filling out the forms today. Now that the stressful part is over, I hope to soon feel some excitement about our new adventure.

I think I'm addicted to Jane Austen

Earlier in the year, I broke down and finally read Pride and Prejudice, which I really liked. I have a rule about reading a book if possible before seeing a movie, and when I found out Emma Thompson had done the Sense and Sensibility movie, well, I had to read that one as well.

Browsing the shelves, I ran across Persuasion. By the time I finished that one, I was completely hooked. I started Emma today and have Northanger Abbey and Mansfield Park on hold at the library.

I started the year off with George Eliot's Middlemarch, which took me awhile to finish, and I suspect my next foray will be into Silas Marner and The Mill on the Floss. This year's reading challenges are shot because few of these are novels I listed as intended reads, but I have greatly enjoyed all so far.

If I'm not completely burned out and needing to re-read The Lord of the Rings Trilogy and The Hobbit by then, I might try some Dickens. Who knows?

And have I said lately how much I love my library?

More Warren Barfield and other music

If you pre-order Warren Barfield's new album, you get an immediate free download of his incredible song "Love Is Not a Fight." The more Geddy and I hear of this guy, the more we like him. If you get a chance to see him live, you need to go...it puts him in a whole 'nother sphere. (Wish he would release some of his live stuff!)

Geddy has gone exploring and has come across MySpace pages for several of our local Christian bands. Check them out:

Everthird. Shannon Lovelady is one of our worship leaders at church, and though I am of course partial, I love his voice -- it's pretty unusual. Sounds like he should be fronting a metal band.

Living Anthem. Larry turned us onto these guys when they played a concert for his youth group. Since then, we've had the opportunity to see them a couple of times, and they are extremely talented.

Edenfield. Geddy and Larry saw them with Living Anthem last weekend, and though they're young, Geddy says they have a lot of potential. I really like the CD that came home with them.

Comments are now open

After much debate with myself, I have decided to open my blog to comments. If you are forced to comment anonymously because you don't have a Blogger account, I'd still love to know who you are; just mention it in the body of your comment.

Please be kind.

Tough choices

I'm gonna get personal with the five of you who read my blog and talk about a big spiritual step we took last Sunday: we wrote a check for a full tithe from our once-monthly paycheck and dropped it in the collection plate.

We've been churchgoers for awhile and occasionally made an offering, but the issue of tithing has been on both our hearts lately. Rhonda at The Path to Simplicity talks about some big changes they are making and I greatly admire the faith she and her family are showing by stepping fully into God's will for their lives. We want that for our family as well.

Not even a week into our commitment, we are being greatly tested.

We received a medical bill for nearly $500, payable immediately.

Food allergies are forcing us to leave our fully stocked pantry, refrigerator and freezer be and purchase not only an entire month's worth of allergy-free foods, but also learn to cook some of them. In addition, we were required to buy four additional Epi-pens; we now carry six of those, a bottle of Benadryl and two rescue inhalers wherever we go. The pharmacy bill was $110 and our grocery bill likely will double this month.

Four months ago in the aftermath of my brother's death, I backed into my husband's car and left a gash on my bumper cover. Last night, I tore the cover completely off when I scraped the retaining wall. To replace it will be around $400.

But you know what? When that check left our hands, our finances went into God's. The money is His. The circumstances are His. He is in control, and He is so much more capable than we are! That's the kind of hope I cling to, and the hope I want to have as I relinquish whatever control I think I have in every area of my life.

Food allergies part II

You know, if the whole food allergy thing wasn't so exhausting, it would be fascinating. At library sales, I found one allergy cookbook from the 90's and another from 1969. I also bought a copy of The Eat Clean Diet Cookbook, which was highly recommended to me. Of course the recipes vary quite a bit, but it's interesting to see that folks have been struggling with this issue in print for what amounts to all of my life.

Surprisingly, there really is a wide variety of foods my children can eat. Allergy eating forces you to make healthy choices because things like eating McDonald's or processed/convenience foods are eliminated. All that talk about wanting to get healthy has to be put into practice.

It's tough to have to closely examine every bite of food you take -- even more so when the children are young and don't really understand why they suddenly can't have so many of the foods they love -- but I'm convinced it will be worth it. Moe ate three questionable foods yesterday after being "clean" since Friday night, and by bedtime his eczema was crawling, he was hoarse and his nose was disgusting.

At church, it was very difficult to juggle my duties with the fellowship ministry, which prepares the Wednesday meal, with making sure the kiddos were safe. I cooked their dinner separately, then had to feed them before their classes, and then they had to watch their friends eat hot dogs and Fritos and cookies. It hurts my heart for them to be left out, but right now our options really are limited. Larry has been living off mashed potatoes since he had his braces reworked with rubber bands and other nasties Tuesday, and it turns out that there's only one boxed kind he can have.

The best thing I can bring to the table is a good attitude, and I'm afraid I fall way short sometimes.

We have a winner!

*drumroll please*

The culprit is...food allergies!

Yeah, we got tested for them. Yeah, we got some positives. The allergist told me not to worry about it if the children never had any "significant" reactions.

Well, I guess a sore throat for nearly four solid months is enough of a reaction. We are now officially an allergy family, avoiding about a dozen very common foods. I am learning many interesting things such as how to make ketchup using cranberry sauce, carrots, pears, vinegar and spices. (Only I can't do that any longer because cranberry sauce has corn syrup and we're allergic to corn.) And how to make ranch dressing. (First you mix up the egg substitute, then you mix up the mayonnaise, then you use some of it to mix up the ranch.)

That's right.

And how to make hamburgers out of ground pork. And that Jell-O has trace amounts of beef. And that only unsalted Fleischmann's margarine is truly dairy-free. And that most potato chips are made with corn oil. And that you can be allergic to oranges but not other citrus fruits, and beef but not bison, and chicken but not turkey.

Yep.

And where to find interesting ingredients for wheat/gluten-free bread, like xantham gum and spelt and bean-based baking mix. And that you are hard-pressed to find a dairy substitute if you are allergic to the following: cow's milk AND soy AND rice AND tree nuts. So you try goat's milk, which is just...odd-sounding.

Ooooeeee.

In four weeks, we re-evaluate and see what kind of effect this has on our health and decide whether to continue down this road for our children's sake. Prayers for Mama's sanity much appreciated.