Larry, 11, Curly Sue, 8, and Moe, 6, have a game they play called "Yummy Feet." Being merely mom to The Hat Trick and not one of its insiders, I'm not privy to the rules of said game but it seems to involve one-third chasing the other two-thirds' feet. Pretending to bite them, I believe. Happy times.
"Get Away From the Bear" also is a favorite. Another one I'm not entirely sure I could play without guidance from the 11 and under set, but this one seems pretty straightforward, with one-third -- The Bear -- trying to bite the other two-thirds. "Haunted Tag" and "Secret Agent" are other recurring games, but I think I have those pegged. Think regular tag and hide-and-seek played in the dark with flashlights. As far as I'm aware, no biting. (Would that be "Vampire Tag?")
I thought about teaching The Hat Trick some good, proper, old-fashioned games some day. In my mind, it went something like this:
Me: Okay, who wants to learn to play jacks?
The Hat Trick: Me! Me! Me!
Me: All right, gather 'round. The first thing you do is (consults three-page direction sheet from jacks set) um...just a minute...
Larry: Hey, look how high this ball bounces!
Moe: Let me do it! Hey, cool! Let's try it on the kitchen floor. (Chases the ball around the room and down the stairs.)
Me: NO! Quit bouncing it. First you scatter the jacks. Not over the railing! (Collects jacks from stairwell.) Just scatter them on the floor right here...
Curly Sue: These jacks are poky. I bet they would make holes in paper. (Leaves to get some.)
Me: Come back here! Now listen...stop bouncing the ball. Then you (consults the paper) um...bounce the...NOTLIKETHAT!
Larry and Moe: (in awe) Ooh. It floats.
Me, fishing the ball out of the now rubber-flavored soup on the kitchen stove: Sit down! Where's Curly Sue?
Moe: She's poking holes in paper.
Larry: Making a butterfly. I wonder how high it would bounce in the driveway?
Moe: All the way up to the sky! I wonder if it would float in the bathtub?
As Mark Twain says, I'll close the curtain of charity over the rest of the scene. And add that my children still do not know how to play jacks or any other good, old-fashioned game with proper rules. I did draw a Sharpie circle on the back of a mat so they could shoot marbles, and they made up their own games to play with them. That's been the extent of my contribution.
Meh. Sometimes it's better when Mom doesn't know the rules anyhow.
Friday, September 28, 2007
Thursday, September 27, 2007
Other people would rather be reading
We participated in a fund raiser at a local restaurant tonight, where 20 percent of our purchase will be used toward building a library in my tiny hometown.
I remember growing up a reader -- not an intellectual, understand, just a reader -- and living for the Bookmobile's annual visit at the beginning of the summer. The 15 miles to the county seat and that city's library seemed a lot further then than now, so we never made that trip. Instead, the Bookmobile brought my precious dozen books to me every summer. Most of them were read by the end of the first week, though, and out came the Reader's Digest Condensed Books that lined my parents' shelves.
(Did you know that Beth actually dies in the second half of "Little Women?" Me too, now. Nothing crueler than to give a child hope by letting her read the Condensed Classic, in which Beth beats the fever...the end.)
All I need to know about burlesque I learned from Gypsy Rose Lee's "The G-String Murders." Out of respect for my parents, who clearly never read this work before putting it on their shelves for little eyes to see, I will not elaborate. Suffice it to say that if a woman chooses to have breast enhancement these days, she doesn't have to worry as much about sitting too near a heater.
So the fundraiser food was tasty, a good time was had by all, funds were raised and I ran into my high school journalism teacher. She was not surprised to learn that I had spent most of my career writing sports before turning to full-time motherhood for my work. She said I was "brave" to homeschool. Funny, I thought she was brave to try and teach 150 teenagers a day.
I guess it's all relative.
I remember growing up a reader -- not an intellectual, understand, just a reader -- and living for the Bookmobile's annual visit at the beginning of the summer. The 15 miles to the county seat and that city's library seemed a lot further then than now, so we never made that trip. Instead, the Bookmobile brought my precious dozen books to me every summer. Most of them were read by the end of the first week, though, and out came the Reader's Digest Condensed Books that lined my parents' shelves.
(Did you know that Beth actually dies in the second half of "Little Women?" Me too, now. Nothing crueler than to give a child hope by letting her read the Condensed Classic, in which Beth beats the fever...the end.)
All I need to know about burlesque I learned from Gypsy Rose Lee's "The G-String Murders." Out of respect for my parents, who clearly never read this work before putting it on their shelves for little eyes to see, I will not elaborate. Suffice it to say that if a woman chooses to have breast enhancement these days, she doesn't have to worry as much about sitting too near a heater.
So the fundraiser food was tasty, a good time was had by all, funds were raised and I ran into my high school journalism teacher. She was not surprised to learn that I had spent most of my career writing sports before turning to full-time motherhood for my work. She said I was "brave" to homeschool. Funny, I thought she was brave to try and teach 150 teenagers a day.
I guess it's all relative.
I'd still rather be reading!
I'm reading a book by Steve and Annette Economides called "America's Cheapest Family Gets You Right on the Money." So far, it's earnest and interesting. I have to admire a family that takes sound financial principles and applies them so consistently that they pay off a house on one (smallish) salary in nine years.
My husband has lost 50 pounds since last November and he dreads the inevitable, "How did you do it?" He warns people they won't like the answer, then explains that he eats healthy portions of food, exercises regularly and lifts weights a couple of times a week. I have read a dozen books on personal finance and though some authors are more interesting than others, all basically say the same thing: spend less, exercise common sense regularly and build up your resistance-to-the-gimmes muscles by denying yourself a couple of times a week.
And nobody really likes that answer, either.
My husband has lost 50 pounds since last November and he dreads the inevitable, "How did you do it?" He warns people they won't like the answer, then explains that he eats healthy portions of food, exercises regularly and lifts weights a couple of times a week. I have read a dozen books on personal finance and though some authors are more interesting than others, all basically say the same thing: spend less, exercise common sense regularly and build up your resistance-to-the-gimmes muscles by denying yourself a couple of times a week.
And nobody really likes that answer, either.
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
I'd rather be reading
Life is what you make it,
That's what the people say.
And if I can't make it through tomorrow,
I'd better make it through today.
That's what the people say.
And if I can't make it through tomorrow,
I'd better make it through today.
-Eric Clapton
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