I'm on Day 4 of a fierce diet/exercise program. Ask me later. (SparkPeople is the greatest support site ever!)
Curly Sue is sick...again. When I awoke this morning at 5:45 a.m., she had already been up since 1 a.m., running a high fever. She didn't want to wake me, bless 'er, but her throat is sore (again) and her tonsils red and swollen (again). Rather than take her in to get yet another negative strep screen/culture and unnecessary antibiotic, I scheduled her for bloodwork to rule out mono. Not that I think she has mono, but we need to test for it before they refer her to an ENT, who will decide if she needs to have her tonsils out.
When I took Moe for his allergy shots, I ran into an elementary schoolteacher of mine who also knew Ben. She lost her brother -- her only sibling -- in July of '06 and her father in '07. She is unmarried and has no children and I believe her mother must have been dead for awhile. She is all alone. It's the first time I've seen her since my brother died, so we stood in the middle of the allergist's office and went through a box of tissue. I tell you, it is not a comfort to me to see a woman this far out from her brother's death still in so much pain. On the other hand, because she and I have the same pain, maybe she just felt freer to grieve with me.
I have so much to be thankful for, truly. To imagine not having my little sons and daughter, my sweet husband and lots of siblings, nieces, nephews, healthy parents and assorted other extended family makes my heart ache. Not that Ben was expendable, but the agony of his loss is shared by so many of us that it must be diluted somewhat. Being left totally alone to grieve your entire family must be unendurable.
Oh, and in other things to be burdened about: A sweet lady who works in the allergist's office confided in me today that her 17-year-old daughter, who is unmarried and the mother of an almost-1-year-old child by one boy, is pregnant again by another boy. She is devastated and I will be praying for her and her family.
