The return of the king

My Larry is home -- hooray!

He had some...interesting? horrifying?...stories to tell about his youth group's camping trip to Fall Creek Falls. He ran out of money, but only because he spent some playing games in Cici's and because he blew some in the general store on important stuff like nose clips and rubber balls. Fortunately, he had enough to buy lunch on the way home, but unfortunately he didn't have any to buy an Icee at QT. (Geddy and I solved that by stopping in at Burger King for a frozen Coke.)

A non-poisonous -- we hope -- spider bit him and we'll have to keep an eye on that spot just in case. A spark from the campfire burned him. And a new friend spent part of the trip throwing rocks at his own privates, which was a new one on me. I spent a few minutes making sure Larry didn't participate in such an idiotic activity and was relieved to hear he didn't cave to that particular peer pressure.

He brought home one penny, a duffel full of stinky clothing, a disposable camera and a treasure trove of memories. Rock on!

Rewarded patience...or is it persistence?

I keep visiting a local used book sale -- hardbacks $1! paperbacks 50 cents! -- often, in hopes of discovering a treasure.

I was rewarded for my patience/persistence Saturday as I brushed the dust off not one but three gems. One is a collection of Depression-era recipes, another is an original Thornton W. Burgess -- "The Burgess Book of Nature Lore" -- and the third is a vintage homemaking book called "The I Hate to Housekeep Book: When and how to keep house without losing your mind" by Peg Bracken.

So far, the homemaking book is fun. I'm up to chapter three ("Stains, Spots, Blots, Scars and Dueling Wounds"), in which Bracken takes issue with "some housekeeping book or other" with its advice about avoiding embarrassment with your pastry brush.

I have been embarrassed by many things in my life, but never by my pastry-brush bristles. This is true of most women, I believe. Of all the things one has to blush over in this world, the color of one's pastry-brush bristles comes at the absolute tail end of the list. But this approach is characteristic of most home experts. They truly want to be helpful, but they go too far, and in doing so, they set up too many straw men to knock over.

Ain't that the truth! I look forward to reading more of her wisdom.

The children and I will enjoy reading the Burgess aloud, and as soon as I figure out the "slow" setting on my oven, I plan to bake a mean "Good Cake Without Frosting" as well. That's a pretty good store of advice and entertainment for the Low Low Price of $3.

I know it's early, but there was a sale!

I really love coloring with new crayons. (Yes, I know how old I am. Pipe down.) I love the smell of new paper and how neat my handwriting is on that first page of a notebook. I make the crisp e's with the point on the front, even, but that usually goes the way of the Dodo by page 4.

One of the things we're doing differently this year -- in addition to not starting school this week -- is taking the children on a special back-to-school "date." We intended to take each child separately, but it worked out that we could take both the littles tonight while Larry is on a junior high church camping trip, so off to their favorite Mexican restaurant we went.

Over cheese dip and sticky soda, I talked to them about the changes our participation in a virtual academy will make in our schedule and priorities. We encouraged them to talk about their goals (Curly Sue would like extra one-on-one help with math, Moe is interested in taking an art class and learning about cars). We made a new family rule against the words "I hate" preceding any school subject.

Then came the fun part: After assuring them we would provide basics like paper and pencils, we gave them each a $20 budget and helped them choose some things to help make Aug. 13, our first day of school, special. Both immediately went for book bags, Moe for a Transformers design and Curly Sue for one with a tiny plush frog hanging from the zipper.

Curly Sue chose pens with cool designs, some star-shaped Post-Its and a book cover with hearts. Moe chose a calculator, a small construction paper pad, a Jeff Gordon book cover and -- oh, so neat! -- a rubber band ball.

We have some other things on our fall revival list, like cowboy boots, jeans, a Mary-Kate and Ashley shirt and a Transformers comforter, but for tonight it was enough to stash away some new, crisp things.

And for your information, I totally resisted the urge to sniff and make pointy e's on the construction paper pad!

Run runaway

I am not the kind of person to be flattered by great declarations of past crushes and sighs or regrets over what might have been. (Really, what's the point of rehashing that kind of stuff once you're properly grown up, anyway?) And when I think of how I had to sit on the sidelines so often because I didn't measure up, the intended flattery only serves to tick me off.

The lesson here, boys and girls, is that it's not nice to reinvent the past for your own purposes. Folks get hurt. Stray comments, even ones meant as compliments, may open up old wounds and new cans of worms. So "beware of the half truth, for you may have gotten hold of the wrong half." Yeah, like the backside of a politician.

See chameleon, lying there in the sun
All things to everyone
Run, runaway
-- Slade, 1984

Sneaker saga

I really like to shop at Famous Footwear. It's the only place I can find decent sneakers for everyone, and typically the prices are at least reasonable if not incredible. We're fortunate that the children aren't particular about brands or styles, although I prefer New Balance because they seem to last longer and come in wide sizes, which fit my boys better.

Larry's foot decided to grow three sizes this week (ala the Grinch) so he informed me Thursday morning that he needed new sneakers. I told him we had plans to go in a couple of weeks and he explained that he meant he couldn't wear his sneakers at all, that his foot had completely outgrown his shoes. We already had plans to walk in the parade yesterday morning, so I arranged our schedule to squeeze in sneaker shopping.

I should probably explain that our boys basically get a new pair of shoes once or twice a year. Their old sneakers -- if they can still wear them -- become their play shoes and their new ones are for everything else. (They also each get a pair of knockoff Crocs.) A buy one, get one half price sale is ongoing at FF, so I had both boys fitted up with brand-new New Balance wides and even splurged on Gold Toe socks -- also on sale.

Satisfied that my day's shopping had gone well and we were caught up on our needs, with the added bonus that I had found a super-soft set of organic cotton sateen sheets for our bed for an incredibly low price at Ross, we headed out to camp to pick up our much-missed Miss Curly Sue.

Who discovered shortly after arriving home that she had left her sneakers at camp.

Sigh.

Let's gather 'round the campfire and sing our campfire song

...our C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E song/And if you don't think that we can sing it faster then you're wrong/But it'll help if you just sing along...

(Can anyone name that cartoon? Hint: He lives in a pineapple under the sea.)

You'll notice I haven't mentioned that Curly Sue is at church camp this week. That would be because Mama has been trying not to think about it too much. Oh, it was one thing to send my completely ready but still "my baby" 12-year-old -- and that was plenty hard! -- but my sweet and silly 8-year-old darling girl has been another story.

Plus, she left me here completely surrounded by boys. Now, I love boys, especially my boys, but I share so many girls-only moments with Curly Sue every day that I'm really missing that interaction. She is a constant source of encouragement to me and will be very proud that I've lost another pound in her absence.

It helps to know she's having a fantastic time with her friends from church, and she makes friends very easily so hopefully she's spending time with new ones as well. She'll swim and eat and play and exercise and worship and learn, but for the first time in her life I'll miss out on nearly a whole week of being there with her while she does.

"And the face in the water looks up
And she shakes her head, as if to say
That it's the last time you'll look like today"
(Genesis, "Ripples")

Man, I'm in a melancholy mood today. I must away to the elliptical to work off some of my not-so-lovely lady lumps.

The Professor speaks

Larry occasionally makes comments in such a literary way that it's pure comedy. Last week when The Hat Trick was at Youth Police Academy, I mentioned that I had seen some fruit outside the meeting room and wondered if any of my children had partaken. Larry said:
"Yes, and it would appear my lifelong feud with bananas has come to an end."