On my bedside table

I finished Death of a Murderer a couple of days ago. It was mildly interesting and fairly well-written. It jumped around and went stagnant in a few places, so I doubt I'd recommend it.

More interesting to me is the non-fiction, almost-completed read Idoleyes, which I wanted to read because I love Mandisa's song "Only the World." Her story is more complex than fiction tends to be. She is a strong Christian who auditioned for American Idol and made it into the top 10 contestants before being voted off. Her outspoken Christianity, her weight struggles, her incredible talent and her brutal honesty about her life make this a compelling read.

And then there's Healing the New Childhood Epidemics. This book, written by Kenneth Bock, M.D., outlines Bock's "groundbreaking" program for the 4-A disorders (autism, ADHD, asthma and allergies). It's chock-full of good information for me, as the mother of asthmatic and allergic children. Bock relates all four disorders, puts forth some thoughtful theories about the alarming rise in autism cases and documents the work he has done in helping children with the 4-A disorders improve.

I blush to admit that I never have read Pride and Prejudice or Sense and Sensibility. Those are next on my list from my library basket.

Music-wise, I am loving Mercy Me's Coming Up to Breathe. So many of their songs speak to me, but a couple on this album keep me hanging on most current days. I get a particular kick out of this one, as will anyone who's ever been on a deadline and gone blank.

Each year, I buy myself one or two Christmas CDs. Last year, it was James Taylor's At Christmas, which instantly became one of my favorites. I think I talked my friend Angela into buying it last night, in fact. This year, I went a little retro and picked up Christmas With the Chipmunks and A Charlie Brown Christmas.

And just for fun, I put this on my Christmas list!

There's a great big Ben-shaped hole in my life

I'm getting ready to make turkey-shaped Thanksgiving cookies for our family dinner Sunday, and I think, "Ben will love these!" and then I stop...

I'm thinking about taking the kiddos to see Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium, and I wonder if Ben has seen it yet, or if he'd like to go with us, and then I stop...

I buy a great Star Wars pop-up book as a Christmas gift and think I'd like to show it to Ben before I wrap it, and then I stop...

I need to stop.

And now for something completely different

In the midst of the dark last week, I kept an appointment to have Curly Sue and Moe skin-tested for allergies. They reacted to every single marker, including the ones for beef, chicken, fish, shrimp, tomatoes, peanuts and citrus. And dogs and cats, though I'm pretty sure it's their dander and not their meat that's an issue. (I'll err on the side of caution and take them off the menu.) The allergist said not to worry about the food markers unless they've had a serious reaction to any of those foods in the past, which they haven't.

At homeschool group today, Curly Sue got her arm smashed in the door and for a brief while, I thought I'd be taking her for x-rays. My friend the EMT checked her out and was pretty sure it was only bruised, so we stayed put. Exactly 14.7 minutes later, Larry was sprawled on the gym floor with an overgrown toenail bent completely backwards, wailing in panic. Another friend had nail clippers and we soon took care of that injury as well.

Last night at church, I did pretty well until mid-lesson, when I spontaneously burst into tears and couldn't excuse myself because we were smack in the middle of a sea of chairs and I couldn't maneuver my way to the the ladies'. Fortunately, I had brought tissues for just this eventuality.

But hey, last night's viewing of Kenneth Branagh's "Much Ado About Nothing" was fantastically hilarious, so I haven't much to bemoan, right?

Saturday I go help clean out Ben's home and Sunday we are going ahead with our family Thanksgiving as planned. I am making turkey-shaped cookies and green bean casserole and deviled eggs and sour cream dip. We are wearing black tee shirts and visiting the cemetery, though we all will be acutely aware that what made Ben himself is not there. We probably will sing and play guitar, and we definitely will cry. In a good way, though, I hope.

"Afterimage" by Neil Peart (Rush)

Suddenly, you were gone
From all the lives you left your mark upon

I remember
How we talked and drank into the misty dawn
I hear the voices

We ran by the water on the wet summer lawn
I see the footprints
I remember

I feel the way you would
I feel the way you would

Tried to believe but you know it’s no good
This is something that just can’t be understood

I remember
The shouts of joy skiing fast through the woods
I hear the echoes

I learned your love for life,
I feel the way that you would
I feel your presence
I remember

I feel the way you would
This just can’t be understood...

Refined as silver

My middle brother, Bubby, sent an e-mail this morning to encourage us.

Malachi 3:3 says: "He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver."

This verse puzzled some women in a Bible study and they wondered what this statement meant about the character and nature of God.

One of the women offered to find out the process of refining silver and get back to the group at their next Bible study.

That week, the woman called a silversmith and made an appointment to watch him at work. She didn't mention anything about the reason for her interest beyond her curiosity about the process of refining silver.

As she watched the silversmith, he held a piece of silver over the fire and let it heat up. He explained that in refining silver, one needed to hold the silver in the middle of the fire where the flames were hottest as to burn away all the impurities.

The woman thought about God holding us in such a hot spot; then she thought again about the verse that says: "He sits as a refiner and purifier of silver." She asked the silversmith if it was true that he had to sit there in front of the fire the whole time the silver was being refined.

The man answered that yes, he not only had to sit there holding the silver, but he had to keep his eyes on the silver the entire time it was in the fire. If the silver was left a moment too long in the flames, it would be destroyed.

The woman was silent for a moment. Then she asked the silversmith, "How do you know when the silver is fully refined?"

He smiled at her and answered, "Oh, that's easy -- when I see my image in it."

Seen on a sign...

Everything looks different through tears.

Strength in song

Today I'm faltering, "So I pray
Bring me joy, bring me peace
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings you glory
And I know there'll be days
When this life brings me pain
But if that's what it takes to praise you
Jesus bring the rain"
--Mercy Me