Better Make It Through Today

iTunes: It doesn't suck, Pete

2011-11-04T06:11:00.000-07:00

Pete Townshend got into the Halloween spirit Monday, calling iTunes a "digital vampire."

Not only does Pete think the (legal) digital download giant sucks, but apparently our Rock Legend thinks we fans are thieves as well.

"Why can't music lovers just pay for music rather than steal it?" he asked during a lecture in London.

Geez, Pete. If I send you a $20 bill, would you give me a break from the near-constant playlist of Who songs on car commercials and crime shows?

Seriously, I love The Who. I was privileged enough to see them live a couple of times before John Entwistle died. Watched Pete windmill and listened to Roger Daltrey sing the impossible while I stared at his Adonis-like profile.

Unfortunately, Pete has become a Republican of the rock world: He gots his, but he desperately needs to stay relevant. Without some incendiary sound byte, would anyone pay attention to his delivery of the "first John Peel Lecture?" Doubtful.

Pete has written some amazing songs, true. But he needs to check that monster ego and remember that every chord he ever played, every note he ever matched to a lyric, has been played many times before. He didn't invent music and he wouldn't exist as a Rock Legend if it weren't for his supporters, whom he now accuses of stealing his music.

In time, every song Pete Townshend ever wrote will exist in the public domain. It would be a shame if his incredible musical legacy were tainted by his disdain for iTunes and, evidently, his fans.

I support songwriters, and I believe in copyright laws and protection of intellectual property. What I don't support is the uber-wealthy elite's compulsion to own all that is beautiful.

Music belongs to everyone, Pete. Your attitude is what really sucks.

The stuff of poetry

2011-10-15T06:59:00.000-07:00

My husband's story of how the for-no-reason gift came about was nearly as delightful as the gift itself.

"I ducked into the bookstore on the square," he said. "You know, the one with all the vintage books? I scanned the shelf and it just jumped out at me."

"It" is a 1931 copy of Walt Whitman's Leaves of Grass. (He also scored a tiny volume of 20th century American poetry, publication year 1944.)

We're not big gifts people, he and I. Maybe we convinced ourselves of that in leaner times, or maybe it was the impersonal nature of a few of his gifts. Either way, it was easier to say I didn't want anything than to pretend pearls -- even a very beautiful strand -- were the very thing a tee-shirt-wearing, socially retarded, at-home homeschooling mom like me always wanted, all my life.

Like many a couple before us, we are in transition. To draw on the vernacular, it's time to make it or break it.

So, we're making it.

It's clumsy and awkward sometimes and angry and sullen sometimes, and always, always we're in survival mode. But there are flashes of brilliance.

Enter my husband, with Walt Whitman and a story to boot.

I greatly enjoy the earthy writings of Whitman, Robert Frost and Emily Dickinson. I read Leaves of Grass aloud to my unborn firstborn, then joked when he arrived five weeks prematurely that he just couldn't wait to see the world about which Whitman so beautifully wrote.

That $11 worth of dusty books could be a fearsome weapon against the enemies of our family -- apathy, inattention, distraction, fear, anger, ignorance -- is a mind-blowing concept. That Our Hero's spontaneous few minutes of effort on his wife's behalf could banish all uneasiness about Our Heroine's place in the heart of her Forever-Love, a miracle.

Now that's the stuff of poetry!

My husband "took the road less traveled by, and that has made all the difference." (Frost) My husband "knows my face." (Tolkein) He remembers, and sees her in "all that we can be, not what we are." (John Denver)

"That music always round me, unceasing, unbeginning, yet long untaught I did not hear,
But now the chorus I hear and am elated..." (Whitman)

Come up to the lab and see what's on the slab

2011-09-15T16:19:00.000-07:00

I enjoy "The Rocky Horror Picture Show."

I've seen it a couple of times in movie houses and a couple of times at home, and I own the DVD. I confess, the only audience-participation line I know is "Eddie, get your ass off the table!" and I'm not exactly sure where to yell it. I don't want to dress as Magenta for Halloween and as much as I like Tim Curry, his performance in lingerie disturbs me, primarily because he's so much prettier than I.

Still, it's a lot of fun.

As a not-at-all avid play-goer, I was looking forward to my town's fall community theater production of RHPS, thinking I may actually be persuaded to get off my behind and do one of those things that sounds fun, for once.

And then a video of the R-rated production's rehearsal made its way into the hands of the city manager, then the mayor. All politics aside, this man claims to know this town well enough to shut down the play, presumably to protect us from ourselves.

At last count, more than 600 people had "liked" a Facebook page supporting the production. Perhaps, mere weeks before its scheduled opening, RHPS can find another local venue. Perhaps not.

I am neither callow nor retarded. I do not need one more person who never has met me but claims to know me -- because I fit a particular demographic, perhaps? -- using his perceived political, religious, financial, educational or moral superiority to make my entertainment choices for me.

"The whole principle [of censorship] is wrong. It's like demanding that grown men live on skim milk because the baby can't have steak." (Robert Heinlein, The Man Who Sold the Moon)

Rock on, Rocky Horror!

Someday....

2011-09-06T12:16:00.000-07:00

Someday, you will decide that loving another person completely means giving up any hope of being loved in return. You will understand your worth is in your capacity to love that other person, not in whether or how much s/he loves you. Your choice will be to love without condition or expectation, and that choice will be yours alone.

In that moment, finally, you and God will be at peace with one another.

From that moment until you cease to operate your own mind, you will give up any conscious claim on your soul. You will not be damaged by the people or things of this world, so your world will expand. You will hear God's voice in angry music and in the rustle of autumn leaves. You will see God's beauty in tattoo ink and in a pink and purple sunset.

You will initiate 100 conversations, send 1,000 cards, bake 10,000 birthday cupcakes and dry 1,000,000,000 tears, yet your own struggles may be singular and silent. But you will not choose fear while you are alone and hurting; you will choose power, and love, and a strong mind. You will choose to accept responsibility for your mistakes and, sometimes, for others' mistakes as well. You will choose to sacrifice your pride, and in so doing, you will experience grace as you learn to forgive and to accept forgiveness.

Occasionally, God may allow you the privilege of seeing others through His eyes. In those moments, you will choose not to be confused or frustrated or repulsed or enraged by the way they act or write or look or talk or think. Instead, you will choose to see how completely He loves others -- not just the ones who love Him back, but also the ones who pretend to, and the ones who wish they knew how.

The choice to love someone else completely may mean never experiencing that kind of love yourself. It might rob you of everything you are or want to be, but the Bible says there is no greater love than to lay down your life for someone else.

By choosing that greatest love, you also choose to become who you were born to be.

Someday.

The church of the abandoned

2011-08-17T00:02:00.000-07:00

*POST DELETED*

My attempt on this blog to deal with some issues that were brought to my attention has hurt and embarrassed people I respect. I sincerely apologize for what easily could be construed as a personal attack against any of you or against your heartfelt work to bring young people to Christ. To quote one of you, "That's not what I'm about." --RRL

Good night, sweet prince...

2011-07-15T08:42:00.000-07:00

Hamlet goes to his well-deserved eternal peace, presumably, with Horatio's parting words in his ear: "Good night, sweet prince, and flights of angels sing thee to thy rest."

They were the first words that came to mind when my brother died, and again when I read of a particular young Marine's death.

Before he became one of the proud, the few, he was a young homeschooled boy whose mother and I frequented the same educational forum. I often read her excellent and useful personal blog for inspiration as well. I poured out my sadness over the bullying of my then-7-year-old on the forum, and was surprised and touched when her teenage son reached out to my Squirt in an open letter.

Squirt treasured that letter, and when the time came for Big Boy to enter college, returned the favor. In Squirt's letter, he reminded Big Boy how much it his words had meant to him and wished him luck. Both Big Boy and his mother responded; it was their turn to be touched and teary-eyed.

Obviously, it has been some time since I visited the blog. Big Boy died last November and I read of his death just today.

War is hell.

Colin Hay redux

2011-03-12T18:30:00.000-08:00

My quest to hear what Colin Hay has to say about my life had some cool twists. Awesome venue: No clumsy-pawed security, so no Tampax-dropping flashbacks. And the opening act, Chris Trapper, may be a stranger to me, but he had some things to say about my life as well. Who knew?

Some things Colin Hay had to say about my life I will keep to myself. They are small things, but they are mine own. His show was a turning point. Things changed because of it. I changed because of it. And I don't just mean having the image of a pot-smoking, TV-watching goat permanently burned into my brain.

I also don't mean wondering what perverse force of nature draws several hundred pairs of eyes simultaneously to the crotch of the man who's just said he had prostate cancer. I don't actually think prostate cancer survivors have glow-in-the-dark junk, but we were all definitely checking for something.

Much changed last night, but some things, regrettably, have not changed. Inside my five-foot-zero body lives The Hulk, and nobody likes me when I'm angry. Somehow, I became trapped between my hunky husband and four inches of door frame as the Variety gave birth to many hundred humans at once. It was enough to make Mother Mary give Baby Jesus a little shake, I tell you.

Ribs slowly separated from cartilage as I was squeaking out words like excuse me, I'm down here, don't step on me, make room please, does anyone know if the trampled kids at the Who show were able to have open-casket funerals? No one seemed to hear, so I opened my mouth and loosed my inner Hulk.

"Get the FUCK out of my way!" I bellowed, and started throwing elbows, clearing a path. True, the throwing of elbows may have deprived a few fellers of post-show fun with their old ladies, but I was free to take my place in line to meet Colin Hay and that was the important thing.

I felt no guilt, because Colin Hay had something new to say about my life last night, even before I claimed my place in line. During his show, he looked deep into my eyes as I listened solemnly, taking each and every word to heart:

"Becky," he said to me from the stage, his fuggin halo barely visible in the stage lights.

"Becky, sometimes it's absolutely necessary that you cuss like a drunk Navy midshipman with flaming toilet tissue stuck to his backside. I know what's been shoved down your throat your entire life, but trust me: God will love you anyway. You must be heard, so sometimes you must use shocking words in a loud voice. What you have to say is that important."

That's the way I remember it, anyway. A small thing, but a thing mine own.

Anything Colin Hay has to say about my life

2011-03-11T09:46:00.000-08:00

Yeah, that Colin Hay. The singer for Men at Work, a slightly offbeat 80s band famous for songs like "Overkill" and "Land Down Under," which raised this burning question: What the hell is vegemite?

Colin Hay has a solo career, and Geddy and I are going to see him in concert tonight. "My my my, it's a beautiful world," he will sing to me. "Perhaps this is as good as it gets." I will cry when he sings, "I can see you where you're hiding, and there's water over you."

Because I know I will cry, I will have to carry Kleenex in my bag, which I suppose will have to be searched at the door. I am fortunate to no longer have any need for Tampax, which always used to hit the ground when concert security's big, clumsy hands went pawing through my things. Never the lipstick or the Doublemint, always the Tampax. Hopefully the Kleenex will stay put, but if it falls out, at least it won't be awkward.

Colin Hay will sing sentimental songs and I will feel sentimental feelings. I will hold my husband's hand and regret how close we were to giving up on each other. I will sharply, fiercely miss my dead brother. I will ache over the calculated and senseless murder of another brother's marriage, the theft of his children, and I will fight against raw, blinding hatred. I will wish for a time when life wasn't so difficult to navigate and I wasn't so tired. Or sad.

Colin Hay will sing to me,
"When the pieces, they all fit together
Through the dark clouds, the sun will shine
I could wait for a change in the weather
Or let the rain wash it all away."

Anything Colin Hay has to say about my life will be something I know already. I know I am giving myself permission to acknowledge my regret, my pain and my anger, but also that I must put them right away again in a tiny corner of my heart. That's all the space they deserve, and all I can spare and still have room for all the amazing, beautiful, joyful, soul-expanding experiences God has promised to me.

Colin Hay will sing to me, and I will collect the rain on my Kleenex and throw it away. Colin Hay will share anything he has to say about my life, and anything Colin Hay has to say about my life will help me remember what I know already.

A decade of Hat Tricks

2011-02-23T08:09:00.000-08:00

Today is my baby's 10th birthday.

Nine years ago, crammed into a stainless steel University of South Alabama hospital crib with my arms wrapped around him, I was crying out to God and willing my baby to live. Viral croup, a common and typically mild childhood illness, had trashed his lungs and acute respiratory distress syndrome had set in.

We had an edgy couple of months, but he grew big and strong and healthy and beautiful. Asthma pesters him, especially when enemy birches and oaks try to steal his health by blooming in the spring. He copes.

It's a daunting task, trying to keep babies alive. Squonk tried to make his appearance starting at about 29 weeks gestation, but he stayed put until 38 weeks and went home with me from the hospital. Little more than a year later, we were fighting for him again, with everything we had.

But that's what parents do. We're not just in it for the first steps and cute curls and baby babbling. We're in it for the 104-degree fevers, the projectile vomiting, the whining, the tantrums, the exploding diapers. Times three, in our (very blessed) case.

Three children ages 4 and under seemed like an impossible charge, but harder days are at hand. Acne. Middle school meltdowns. Questions about God and the meaning of life. Achievements all their own. The butterfly-like wings that are beginning to unfold and beat hard, to pump blood and build strength so they can one day carry my babies away to their own separate lives.

I'm editing a memoir of sorts for a friend, a collection of newspaper columns that chronicle his children's journey through this exact season. I weep as I work, but they are joyful tears. I have loved every age of parenthood, yet don't wish any back. Why would I want to trade the privilege of knowing my children as individual beings for a time when they were simply small enough to sit in my lap?

I knew I wasn't alone in that Alabama crib, and I know I'm not alone now. Of all the lessons I have learned about gratitude in my years as a mother, I am most grateful for the presence of God, then and now. I cannot be afraid for my children because I am not in control. And so I can wish my beautiful boy a happy 10th birthday -- and many more.

Peaceful

2010-11-15T06:26:00.000-08:00

Rarely do I have a serendipitous moment in which my spirit and my external life are quiet in tandem. This morning, as the rain thrums and my coffee boils, only one of my three children has awakened. She sits with her nose in a book, tucked into a warm corner, nibbling on cake.

"Would you like a pretzel?" I ask, having unearthed the frozen treats while digging for tonight's dinner. We are not overly fond of breakfast foods. She says yes, so I add cheese to a few and pop them in the oven.

I flip through one of a dozen homeschooling books while we wait, but she has a concern. She shows me the passage in which Jill calls her teacher a bitch -- she is reading Judy Blume's Blubber -- and asks how much more of "that kind of stuff" is in the book. I am pleased at her questioning; last night, she turned down an opportunity to see a PG-13 movie with her friend because she doesn't like violence. I share some thoughts about the book and she moves on.

Soon, my coffee will kick in and the day will move on. My sons will wake and everyone will need assignment lists, meds and breakfast. The painter will call -- or not -- about my living room wall and ceiling. Laundry, housework and meals, pets and crises met or avoided...those are my days.

But for just this morning, just this moment, I am peaceful.

Ruled by fear

2010-11-09T10:14:00.000-08:00

The concept of rule by fear is nothing new, even in the literature and history my children currently are studying.

Squirt and I are reading The Epic of Gilgamesh, in which the people of Uruk complain to the gods because "none could withstand his arms." Gilgamesh did whatever he wanted because he knew no one could defeat him.

European explorers and settlers -- well, we all know how they treated Native Americans. Vikings were such war-mongerers that their entire concept of the afterlife hinged on dying in battle. In virtually every one of Andrew Lang's Blue Fairy Book tales, a menacing person or creature keeps someone cowering in fear.

As for the Bible, tyrants abound in the Old Testament and in the New Testament we are often warned to be on our guard against the devil because "he prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour." (1 Peter 5:8, NIV)

Yet I find myself, even armed with this knowledge and a deep and abiding faith in God, worrying. Squirt and I will be on our way to the doctor in an hour to have his head checked out. He has a lump that has been there since at least summer, although I only became aware of it yesterday. It looks and feels like a harmless type of calcium deposit. My mom has had them. So has my brother. I say I'm not worried, and then...I do.

What if? I wonder. Cancer is the scourge of Geddy's family. His grandmother, his mom, his dad, his uncle. At around midnight last night, cancer took a fine man just a few years older than we are, a much-loved husband and father. Monday, a good friend will have what we all pray is her last breast cancer-related surgery. Another friend is recovering from reconstructive surgery after a radical double mastectomy. Our 10-year-old neighbor nearly died last fall from the toxic effects of chemotherapy he had as a toddler, when he was diagnosed with a rare form of bladder cancer. What if?

I don't know, but God does. And that's the key: every tyrant has his challenger and every oppressed people its champion. Enkidu was Gilgamesh's; Jesus is ours. I can continue to be ruled by fear as I always have been, or I can choose to follow my champion. I want to be strong enough to let go of my worry and live the life of abundant joy I've been promised, even when the threat is toward my children instead of myself.

2010-11-06T09:18:00.000-07:00

"Gone - flitted away,
Taken the stars from the night and the sun
From the day!
Gone, and a cloud in my heart." (Alfred, Lord Tennyson)

It has been three years since my brother Ben's death in a car wreck.

I miss him.

A most beautiful ending: "How the Animals Die"

2010-11-05T14:30:00.000-07:00

Something calls the creature away from his daily round; age or natural disease touches him gently in a way that he has not felt before. He steals away...and picks out a spot where they shall not find him till he is well again. The brook sings on its way to the sea; the waters lap and tinkle on the pebbles as the breeze rocks them; the wind is crooning in the pines,—the old, sweet lullaby that he heard when his ears first opened to the harmony of the world. The shadows lengthen; the twilight deepens; his eyes grow drowsy; he falls asleep. And his last conscious thought, since he knows no death, is that he will waken in the morning when the light calls him.

(William J. Long, School of the Woods)

Irrelevant religion

2010-11-04T12:47:00.000-07:00

Some days I am amazed that anyone's relationship with Jesus Christ can survive church.

Loving other people is hard. Putting other people first is hard. Setting aside your own needs is hard. We go to church and our leaders remind us that our first ministry is family, which happens to be our own personal conviction as well.

We choose hard over busy. We scale back and prune and weed and say no until all that remains is a child's handful of Very Important Things. Youth group and dance, music and library and AV and praise team and leadership. Homeschooling, especially now that Squirt is a high-schooler. Individual time with Squirt and Squish and Squonk. Couple time with Geddy and me. Doctors, dentists, allergists, groceries and Target. Still a formidable schedule, only with the right priorities.

But wait.

We need to get you plugged in, our spiritual higher-ups protest. You're not plugged into a small group. Your kids are not plugged into ministry. It's our turn to protest; small group would be the fifth night of seven that our family would be apart each week, and if family is our first ministry, that cannot be. Our children minister in small ways every day as they learn to be the same Christ-followers away from church as they are at church.

Our family befriended a child in state care and has visited her regularly for nearly a year, meeting some of her emotional and physical needs and praying for the complete restoration of her family. Is that not ministry?

For years, we have participated in the Toys for Tots program and for the past couple, our children have helped fill orders and package toys for delivery. It has changed the way they see Christmas. We have played Bingo with elderly and disabled residents at the housing authority. We have donated toys, clothes, books, blankets and food; baked for the hospice holiday sale; tutored, mentored and encouraged. Ministry? Yes!

In the past two months, we have spent hours clipping coupons and carefully shopping sales so we will have enough to quietly share with people who need, but don't ask. We have set aside a certain amount of money each month and used it for immediate needs like helping fund friends' mission trip to Africa and a grocery card for grandparents who recently won custody of their son's young children. Our Haitian princess, whom we've supported through Compassion International for more than three years now, would argue that we are involved in ministry, I think. The five Central American children who are being adopted by families here will never know that our asthmatic 9-year-old kicked 1,000 soccer goals during a dangerous flare-up to raise a measly $150 toward their cause, but if they did? Definitely ministry.

Maybe that's our problem. Maybe we should post our list of services on a sandwich board and walk it around at church, to prove we're worthy members. Or abandon some of our "unimportant" service projects -- insist our little friends find their own ride to youth group instead of driving them, watch our neighbor's beloved old dog die on the highway instead of walking him home, giggle at the old lady who can't read the small-print labels at the market instead of offering to help -- and focus our efforts on warehousing other Christians so we can, on solemn Sundays, be very glad we're not those needy people.

Or, we could encourage those who don't look very closely to do so. Instead of assuming ministry is not happening if we don't see it, we could assume that it is because that's what God asks of us, all day, every day. That the people who say they are Christ-followers are acting like it, even off-campus, even on their own, even in an unsanctioned area.

Serving other people, putting their needs first, is hard. So is feeling out of place in church, somehow out of favor with the leaders we depend on to teach us spiritual truths. But even if it means becoming more of a Christ-follower and less of a church member....we choose hard.

Nerdcrow

2010-10-01T13:41:00.000-07:00

How do I love thee, Phineas and Ferb? Let me count the ways...

If you haven't seen the spoof of The Wizard of Oz, you must check it out. "I hang in fields, wedgie -style." Funny stuff!

Well, hello there

2010-09-27T09:08:00.000-07:00

I've been making friends with adult ADHD. Been kinda busy.

Squirt and I were "officially" diagnosed in tandem last fall. His difficulties in a regular classroom setting were back of our decision to homeschool nine (yes, NINE!) years ago. He's done well, but puberty and increasingly lengthy math computation required a trip to the local behavioral psychologist for 20 trees' worth of questionnaires. A frill-free diagnosis of ADHD-inattentive type and 25 milligrams of daily Vyvanse later, he's doing pretty well.

Me, not so much.

Apparently, you can't just take a pill and expect your brain to function normally. Bummer. Next step: higher dosages, and maybe timed-release delivery. Then, co-existing conditions like "generalized anxiety disorder" and possibly "sensory integration disorder." Finally, more questionnaires and guess what? You just hit nine out of nine markers for adult presentation of hyperactivity!

I AM grateful to have a reason -- not an excuse -- for some of my life-long struggles. I've always had major personal space issues, but I never knew people with ADHD often have poor spatial recognition. At five feet tall, I now understand why I feel assaulted during middle school worship and not during elementary worship. Why? Everyone's taller than me by middle school and they invade my personal space with their elbows, right at my face level.

Hopefully, a day will come when I don't need medication any longer because I will understand more about how I'm wired. The panic and anxiety already are lessened when I know why I react like I do. Undoing 42 years of coping may take some undoing, on the other hand, but then I'm optimistic by nature.

Read: Women With Attention Deficit Disorder by Sari Solden; ADD Ways to Organize Your Life by Judith Kolberg and Kathleen Nadeau; Delivered from Distraction by Edward M Hallowell and John J. Ratey. Watch: Escape Velocity ($1.99 at iTunes); ADD and Loving It?!

Best advice: Be prepared to re-negotiate your relationships (Solden, paraphrase) and allow yourself to watch TV because it does all the work for you (Hallowell, paraphrase).

Your Squonk-ism for today

2010-05-19T07:44:00.000-07:00

Said Squonk, when faced with the possibility of a dairy-free diet and its effect on his most beloved food:

"Cheeseless pizza is like a featherless bird -- it serves absolutely no purpose!"

On top of Mt. Hormone...

2010-03-22T21:04:00.000-07:00

Now that I'm finally free of Facebook, I'm noticing important stuff like my children.

Squonk turned 9 last month, and he gets funnier every day. He still battles allergies and I thought he understood some of our conversations about better food choices....until the day he conquered Mt. Hormone.

We spent part of our gorgeous Friday afternoon at Mt. Cheaha, shooting a family portrait on a very scary rock. Later, we explored less scary rocks. Squirt and Squonk made their way up to a point above us, where Squonk claimed the highest point in the name of the L. boys.

"Hey, Mom!" he shouted. "I'm up here on the top of (pause) Mt. HORMONE!"

We offended him by bursting into laughter, and he defended himself with crossed arms and a frown: "Well, all the good names like Rushmore and Everest were already taken."

I teased him again later, at home, until his sister Squish asked the dreaded question: "What is a hormone, anyway?" Geddy opened his mouth to answer but Squonk had it all under control.

"A hormone," he solemnly explained, "is something they give cows to make milk taste good."

Wisely, I think, we left it at that.

Hi, blog!

2009-11-21T21:37:00.000-08:00

Almost forgot I had this little place. Don't get much computer time these days, so I mostly use it to check my e-mail and Facebook, and sometimes the weather and news.

Squirt and I started ADHD medication a few weeks ago and we're doing pretty well with it. I have lost 18 of the 53 pounds I need to lose to be within my "healthy" range. We are redoing all three children's rooms and just finished (mostly) organizing our new schoolroom, which is in a larger room in our basement. It is hard work, not to mention expensive, but we are hoping the long-overdue update will give everyone more room for their guitars, Legos and ballet practice.

I am not doing well in my new assignment in the church children's program. Lots of drama. Because I'm in charge of my age group, I'm about to have to flex my leader muscles and put another teacher in her place, and though it's absolutely necessary, I dread the confrontation. Still, I have an obligation to put my girls first, so I have to do some hard things.

Lots more going on, and maybe I won't wait so long to pop by my blog again.

If you're so led...

2009-09-12T09:08:00.000-07:00

...please pray for a couple of members of our church family, Jon and Steve, and their families.

UnderStandUp! International Ministries is sponsoring a benefit concert tonight at Copeland Hall in Bowdon featuring Everthird and Echoing Angels. Proceeds will help efforts to dig wells in Kenya. Tickets are only $12 and the music will be incredible, so come on out!

My brown-eyed boy

2009-09-10T08:40:00.000-07:00

He had a crush on me, the sweet brown-eyed boy in high school. He asked my mom how he could get me to like him. I was immature, awkward, plain, but he saw something in me. I hurt him every chance I could by dating his blue-eyed, blond Apollo of a cousin. Apollo liked to date me in between real girlfriends and toss me aside when something better came along. Kyle was always there. It was too easy. He never asked for more than my friendship, but he never even got very much of that.

Another pair of brown eyes was my downfall a few years later, but behind those eyes was cruelty, control and pure meanness. I fell immediately and hard for this one, and he made me pay dearly for the friendship I had wasted with my original brown-eyed boy. Never very confident in my looks, my personality or my worth, I now had every flaw highlighted, sharpened to a fine point and driven excruciatingly back into my heart and soul. For three years I destroyed myself to be better, nicer, smarter, thinner, blonder, prettier and sexier while he dangled an engagement ring in front of my nose like a carrot in front of a mule.

My Geddy, my hero, rescued me from that dismal pit of a relationship. He was my friend, like Kyle, and he restored me simply by being there. We had been friends for years when parallel jobs put us in constant touch. I woke up one morning and realized I could not imagine my life without him, and I wasn't going to waste a second chance to be with someone who cherished me in a way that was balm to my soul. We were married 10 months later, and Kyle was there, as always, to serenade us with "In My Life."My precious, faithful friend whom I took for granted all those years, who was content to gather the few crumbs I tossed him, sang at my wedding. And I didn't bother to keep in touch afterward.

I am hopeful that someday, somewhere, I will be able to tell Kyle that I'm sorry I didn't appreciate him more. I don't regret we were never a couple but he taught me more about real love and friendship than I have known outside of my 16-plus-year marriage. I couldn't fully understand what it meant to me then and I am ashamed I squandered a chance to reciprocate, to be to him the kind of friend he was to me. I wish I could tell him that I am blissfully happy with my forever love, and that I feel worthy of receiving his love partly because I caught a glimpse of it in his sweet brown eyes so long ago.

Facebooking frenzy

2009-09-08T07:03:00.001-07:00

I've been cheating on Blogger with Facebook. It's a great way to keep up with old friends and my scattered relatives, and I am really enjoying it. I do miss blogging, though, so here I am.

Mostly, we've been working on getting our feet back under us. I had a hysterectomy July 29 and my recovery has been very slow. Exactly a week after my surgery, before I had been cleared to drive, Geddy had a kidney stone and my brother Bubby had to drive him to the ER at midnight. By the weekend, he and I both had 'flu and I had thrush. About the time we were feeling better, a stomach virus snaked through the family.

The Hat Trick started the school year without me but they have done well. Our first six-week term ends Friday. Larry (now known as Squirt) is winding down with Teaching Textbooks Pre-Algebra and working on Georgia history and vocabulary. Curly Sue (Squish) just started Saxon 5/4 and is working in spelling, vocabulary and grammar workbooks. Moe (Squonk) is flying through Horizons math, vocabulary, spelling and grammar books. We are working in Mystery of History and Bob Jones Science 5 all together, and I'm pretty pleased with the progress we've made so far.

Next term, we add in Latin Road to English Grammar for Emory, Spanish and French for everybody, and literature. We might travel as a family to Nicaragua next spring and we want to know a little Spanish, and Squish wants to write our Haitian sponsored child Nervelie a letter in her native French.

Squish turns 10 a week from Friday and we are planning a sleepover with some of her friends. She wants it to be a spa party, so there may be some painting of fingers and toes and possibly a foot spa involved. I found cute bags and goodies at the Dollar Tree to pass out as favors and now we're working on getting word to her friends. I think a midnight Silly String war and the sing-along version of "Mamma Mia" might also be in the plan.

I am going to ENJOY my week off!

On being old

2009-06-24T17:10:00.000-07:00

My dad was in a car wreck when he was 10. He was thrown from a Jeep, which rolled over his head and fractured his skull behind the left ear. A yellowed scrapbook filled with wreck stories is one of his prized possessions.

I already knew the story, of course. Today, Larry and my dad were comparing notes on painful shots like cortisone and Rocephin when Larry heard about the wreck for the first time.

"They had just invented...(pause)...what's that stuff? Yeah, penicillin."

I burst out laughing at the pause but Daddy, unfazed, continued to tell Larry how he had to have the refrigerated antibiotic through pencil-sized needles every four hours but that it probably saved his life.

I was hysterical by this time, but I managed to choke out the answer to my mom's inevitable question.

"I thought he was going to say they had just invented FIRE!"

More than Mexican

2009-06-23T16:57:00.000-07:00

The Hat Trick and I got to have lunch at one of our favorite restaurants with one of our favorite people today. Around the corner from the newspaper where Geddy and I once worked is LaFiesta, home of the bestest Mexican food ever. From the newspaper office, our dear friend Angela edits Newnan-Coweta Magazine, so she was able to meet us for lunch.

As usual on the rare occasions we get to see her, our visit was way too short. She's practically a member of our family -- she was at the births of all three children, who call her "Auntie." She filled me in on my old work crowd, which reminded me that as of December, I have been at home longer than I worked there.

Some of her updates gave me a little pang, thinking of the fun we used to have and how great it was to feel in the loop. Others reminded me with a jolt how stressful parts of the job of a journalist can be, and validated my claim that I would never be able to do my old work and raise my family. (Some people can, just not me!)

It's always nice to have another perspective, especially from someone I dearly love, gently reminding me what a privilege it is to be at home with my not-such-babies. Being at home, especially when we've taken on the responsiblity of The Hat Trick's education as well, certainly isn't easy. But as I shared some kid funnies and boasted a bit (who wouldn't, if they had my great kiddos?), my zest for mothering and teaching got a great boost.

If homeschooling and at-home motherhood is difficult at times, getting too bogged down in day-to-day duties and worries is way too easy. Today, it was fantastic to share my enthusiasm for my current job with a captive audience.

Oh, and the chips and salsa were great, too!

Crime or sleep?

2009-06-12T08:35:00.000-07:00

I am a crime show/movie/book/article junkie.

There. I wrote it.

I also haven't slept well since about October, and it's starting to be a problem.

I've tried melatonin, Ambien and now Lunesta. Some help, not much.

My friend Laura made a startling suggestion yesterday: Give up my crime shows/movies/books/articles for awhile and see if I don't start sleeping again. It worked for her.

What?!? Give up my NCIS, my Dirty Harry, my First 48? My Erik Larson and Jack the Ripper? My Crime Library? Oh, not my Criminal Minds! And geez, it's the 50th anniversary of the Clutter family murders in November, you can't expect me not to be glued to In Cold Blood (hey...maybe they'll show the American Justice episode!).

But having just seen the doctor and professing to be desperate for sleep, I am, in fact, going on a cold turkey detox program starting this weekend. I'm finishing the Dirty Harry movies (three to go!) and will be allowed to watch Harper's Island until it concludes in July, and because Kenneth Branagh is a SERIOUS actor I will be allowed to watch the third episode of Wallander.

My sponsor -- I mean husband -- will monitor me. I like him pretty well because he says I can still watch Ghost Hunters. ;o) I have to delete all my crime show timers from the DVR and get rid of the episodes already recorded.

Laura, you'd better be right!

Phineas and Ferb

2009-06-10T09:31:00.000-07:00

One of the many reasons this show cracks me up:

Doofenshmirtz: "I told him his macaroni and cheese was too cheesy and not macaroni-y enough. I just insulted a whale's macaroni and cheese recipe -- how much more diabolical can you be?"

Mr. Good -- I mean Monkey -- Wrench

2009-06-08T18:00:00.000-07:00

Friday was lovely and cool and we made it to the Birmingham Zoo at opening. Lots of cool animals. And on the way in, we passed a cute downtown area where we thought we'd stop post-zoo.

After a brief tour, we decided to head elsewhere but our car wouldn't start, necessitating a tow. Happily our Volvo roadside assistance actually did assist. The system wouldn't recognize our coded keys, so we were unable to get the steering wheel unlocked, forcing the tow-er to drag our car onto the truck, which was extremely stressful.

Again happily, a Volvo dealer was just a few miles away. Repairs (replacing the starter and recoding the keys) took a couple of hours and then we got lost on the way to the hotel, but we still made it to the Barons game in time to get a free cap -- hooray!

We spent some time in the hotel bar eating glorified chips and dip and cheese that tasted like a goat pasture smells. We watched people come and go, paid triple for our drinks because of the "ambiance" and eventually concluded no matter how you dress them up, people and hotels are just that.

We slept well and late on our ultra-plush bed, then headed out to the Vulcan statue. Despite my terror of heights, I managed to get off the elevator and stand for a full 45 seconds on the mesh at the statue's lookout. I was a little bummed to miss out on the Sloss furnaces -- the remants of a beer festival nulled the usual tours. I had wanted to visit the reportedly haunted areas. (What can I say? I was feeling particularly brave that day.)

Oddly enough, I wasn't a bit disappointed in our anniversary trip. Geddy and I chuckled and snarked our way through and had a really great time. It was a perfect getaway for two smart-aleck part-time misanthropes who plan on growing old together.

Anniversary plans

2009-06-01T08:37:00.001-07:00

Friday is Geddy's and my 16th wedding anniversary. We're going to Birmingham, where we plan to visit the zoo and attend a Barons game. G booked a nice hotel suite -- I think at a Marriott -- as well.

Wednesday is his birthday, so we are taking him to The Grillage, a locally owned restaurant similar to Moe's Southwest Grill (only better!). I have a small gift for him which I will not reveal because he sometimes reads my blog, but he already knows he wants a drum head that he will have to pick out himself.

I am re-reading In Cold Blood and planning for our year-end homeschool group cookout today. The littles are at Youth Police Academy and Larry and I are just hanging around the house. He's making battle plans on the phone with one of his friends who recently had a birthday and received a BB gun. (The same friend had a birthday party at Jumpin' Joey's yesterday, and I played in the inflatables with the kiddos. The slides were awesome!)

The rest of the week should be generally quiet, but I did register for a web seminar for an online school called St. Mark's Academy, which we are considering for Larry's high school years. It's a little pricey but not much more than a good high school curriculum or correspondence course, or even the local classical co-op. We'll see, either way. I just can't believe this will be his last middle school year. Come to think of it, I have a hard time wrapping my mind around being married 16 years, too!

Winding down

2009-05-19T08:21:00.000-07:00

Curly Sue's recital was Saturday and she did very well. She was a Raggedy Ann doll in ballet and a Hot Wheels car in jazz. She had two performances and I was backstage for both, helping with costumes and makeup and general peacekeeping. All went well except that someone boneheadedly set the AC in the low 60s and froze up the unit, so it was bone-meltingly hot and smelled of sweaty feet all six or eight hours we were back there.

Oh, and she has been promoted into Ballet 3 and starts pre-pointe classes next year. Hooray!

Our summer plans have changed a bit. Larry has decided he wants to go on the youth campout at Fall Creek Falls this summer instead of Lego Mindstorm camp, and Moe decided that Youth Police Academy is enough structured summer days and doesn't want to do the bug camp. Apparently, that leaves more time to play war with the neighborhood kiddos, and I'm absolutely fine with that! Curly Sue's dance camp is in July beginning just after noon, so that will work out well for us, too.

This is our last official week of school, though Larry will work most days on a lesson or two in Teaching Textbooks Pre-Algebra so he can start algebra early in the school year. I am waffling between starting school in July or August, and so far August is winning because we enjoyed a longer summer so much last year.

Larry has expressed great interest in police work and archaeology, and my brother Bubby happens to have majored in history and minored in criminal justice, in addition to serving as a police officer for 10 years. Bubby is excited that Larry is excited, and they have lots to talk about now. Next year, when Larry turns 14, he will be eligible to join the Police Explorers. It helps that the city police chief is Larry's small group leader at church and that another officer leads Moe's small group, and he admires them both very much.

Bubby told me about an archaeology Bible he found, which will fit in nicely with Larry's study of Mystery of History next year. It will give him extra research opportunities while allowing us to study history/Bible with all three children at once. Larry will continue in TT math and Apologia General Science, as well as start the Latin Road to English Grammar. He will continue to read literature and write essays regularly but we are allowing him a period of independent study time each day as well, when he can pursue computer programming, architecture, meteorology and anything else educational -- his choice.

The one thing new I've bought for the littles is a book on teaching math by Marilyn Burns, who wrote Math for Smarty Pants and the I Hate Mathematics Book, among others. She includes overviews and lots of math games, which will fit in perfectly with our math notebooking we started last year. We still have Horizons workbooks for hectic days. We have Sequential Spelling, many specialized science books and leftovers from last year's k12 -- I just have to put my resources together in some kind of plan that addresses our needs. (Another reason to start in August instead of July.) We will fill in with literature; what we don't have can easily be found at the library, and I have downloaded many free unit studies from CurrClick as well.

I am looking forward to the new school year, but even more to the end of this one.

Never underestimate the power of a good night's sleep

2009-05-08T09:08:00.000-07:00

I say this because I haven't had one in...oh, several months. I'd been recommended melatonin by my doctor and it worked for a few weeks but lately, not at all.

Yesterday, he prescribed Ambien and for the first time in longer than I can remember, I awoke rested. The doctor says a few weeks' worth should reset my sleep schedule (oh, joy!) and then I won't need it any longer.

Meanwhile, I am working on eating better, taking vitamins and getting some exercise. I am way too heavy right now, and I've joined Sparkpeople. It's free and the support is phenomenal. I especially enjoy the nutrition and exercise tracker features.

We have about three weeks left in school and most of our stuff in place for next year. I likely will not start school until the first week of August, though we usually start the first Monday after July 4. We enjoyed our long summer last year and have several plans in place for this year's break.

Curly Sue and Moe are registered for the city's youth police academy, which they greatly enjoyed last year. Curly Sue will be going to dance camp and the boys want to do day camps at the college. Larry wants to register for the Lego Mindstorm robotics camp and Moe for the Bugs for Breakfast insect camp.

The local recreation department is bringing in a college track star to do a day camp and I think the children would love that as well, but they don't seem too interested. Oh, well...they'll have plenty to do anyway!

Off to stretch my well-rested muscles.

Happy early Mother's Day!

2009-05-04T08:40:00.000-07:00

We just returned from a glorious week at Orange Beach, Alabama. We weren't able to see the Blue Angels this time around but we did visit the Naval Air Museum and Fort Barrancus. We were slightly hindered by my sore foot and Curly Sue's ear infection (we rarely make it through an entire vacation without visiting at least one fine urgent care facility).

During our trip, we dined at LuLu's, where my sweet family bought an autographed copy of Crazy Sista Cooking for me. My Webkinz-crazy kiddos chose a bullfrog for me as well. Ain't he cute? Happy Mother's Day to me!

Changing names for changing times

2009-04-09T11:00:00.000-07:00

Larry turned 13 this morning at 10:52 a.m. In honor of this day, I hereby change his name to The Teenager. I briefly considered changing my name to a four-letter word and daring my kiddos to swear, but I resisted and overcame.

Yesterday was an extremely trying day. I am in Limboland, stuck between not quite feeling well enough to do all I need to and not quite feeling ill enough to take to my bed until next week. My parents kindly brought home the children early yesterday afternoon and Moe was crying out with terrible stomach pains. He's had a sore stomach off and on for a few days and I knew he wasn't "stove up."

After seeing his flushed face and panicked expression, I decided to take him to the ER. The triage nurse was almost certain he had appendicitis, but the pain had faded by the time he was seen by a doctor, who thought it might be a kidney stone (unusual in a child, but not unheard-of). He needed to have a CT scan but that hospital's was down, so we were discharged and sent a couple of towns over to another hospital for the scan.

Thankfully, it was neither appendicitis nor a kidney stone but something called mesenteric adenitis, a fancy word for inflamed lymph nodes in his stomach. Rest and regular ibuprofen should do the trick. The doctors think it was caused by a virus, most likely the Influenza A he had two weeks ago. There is a slight possibility it was caused by celiac disease or cumulative dairy allergy, so if it persists we'll have to take him for further testing, but for now he'll have to be on total rest for a week.

Any ideas on how to tell an active 8-year-old he won't be able to hunt eggs with his cousins Sunday afternoon?

Comfort

2009-04-08T09:10:00.000-07:00

I have been ill with a cough/fever/sore throat for a couple of days, and yesterday I felt so sick I asked my parents to take the children for the afternoon so I could rest. It turned into an overnight trip at my parents' request.

Late in the afternoon, I got a call from Larry.

"Hi, Mom. I was just calling to see how everything's going and to see if I can do anything for you. And to tell you I love you and hope you feel better."

My boy who turns 13 tomorrow, just checking on his Mama.

Geddy had a meeting but called to say he was bringing home dinner. When he came in, he handed me a bag from Burger King containing my very favorite fast-food dessert, Hershey's Sundae Pie. He had brought me the chicken fries I'd asked for as well, but the slice of pie was an unsolicited love offering.

Curly Sue and Moe called later to tell us goodnight. Moe, barely 8, had written a near-perfect essay on Ben Franklin while Curly Sue had researched and started a paper on Abigail Adams. I knew I didn't have to worry about them not doing their schoolwork for Nannie and Paw-Paw, and Nannie said they actually did more than they were supposed to do.

Mercy, my sweet family makes it very difficult for me to stay sick!

For Misty

2009-04-04T21:18:00.000-07:00

Misty, my longish-distance friend, is a fellow homeschooling mom who is tons of fun and loves 80s music. I was thinking about her as I watched the VH1 100 One-Hit Wonders from the 80s countdown. (A bunch of them had more than one hit, but I digress.)

Misty has five children, including a baby and a special-needs teen. Right now her husband is battling a newly diagnosed chronic illness and her baby was just diagnosed with mono. Now, I know tons of folks are going through tough times right now, but this is one of those break-your-mama's-back moments and if your prayer card isn't too full, please keep them in mind.

Whip it, Misty! Whip it good!

School update

2009-04-01T07:52:00.000-07:00

I haven't written about school for awhile. To recap, we tried hard to make Georgia Virtual Academy work for us first semester but couldn't manage it. We parted ways amicably, us with a better sense of where our learning gaps lay.

Right now, we are working on getting familiar with the bigger picture of mathematics. Larry is continuing with Teaching Textbooks Pre-Algebra, which right now is review for him. He and I are reading Romping Through Mathematics together and making pages for his math notebook -- we're learning about square and cube roots at the moment. He is finishing up in Vocabulary from Classical Roots B, after which we will (finally!) get started in The Latin Road to English Grammar and Wordly Wise 7.

Using literature from Sonlight 6, he is working on perfecting the five-paragraph essay. He chooses an aspect of each novel -- for instance, characterization in Young Fu of the Upper Yangtzee -- and writes a draft, which we go over together and then revise for a final markup.

The littles are using several workbooks each. Horizons Math, Wordly Wise, k12 Spelling, Exercises in English and Vocabulary Workshop should be finished within the next month. Then, we will start working in Sequential Spelling, more Wordly Wise and more Horizons Math. I plan to purchase Teaching Textbooks 4 to use in tandem next year. We are keeping math notebooks for the littles, too, using books about math to learn new concepts and writing and solving our own word problems.

After much fretting about history, I chose Mystery of History because of its strong Bible concentration and because it includes levels of assignments for each of the children's ages, meaning I can use one program for all three children. Because Larry is working in Apologia's Exploring Creation with General Science, I can modify science to include all three as well, with Larry taking the lead on lab work and including the littles as "lab assistants." In addition, we have several biology resources, including health and nutrition, with which to supplement.

Hopefully, all I will need to purchase for next year is the TT4 set, freeing up some of the budget for basic art and school supplies. I guess that's one advantage of switching gears mid-year. I love being able to combine subjects for everyone as well because the children challenge each other and come up with some really great thoughts sometimes just by discussion.

Now, if I can just keep my nose out of all the cool homeschooling catalogs that keep appearing in my mailbox...

An unexpected vacation

2009-03-28T21:49:00.000-07:00

I'm pretty sure if we ignore the signs we need to slow down, God makes it happen anyway.

Yes, the four who caught 'flu were in various stages of sickness for a whole week. You know what else? Between the illnesses and the weather, we spent a whole week inside, at home (except for my brief outings for "sick" food and library books/movies) resting and just being together.

The way it worked out, I never had the bulk of work because someone always felt at least well enough to help out. G's co-workers kindly told him to stay the heck at home and keep his germs to himself and the anti-viral made a big difference to everyone except Curly Sue (who turned out to be very, very ill for a couple of days).

So no, it wasn't the sun-yourself-by-the-pool kind of vacation, but it was a break from all but the most pressing work and a chance to really, truly rest -- something that we all needed. Even I got enough rest because G's days were better than his nights, so when I slept very little to care for whichever one(s) needed me at night, I was able to take long naps in the afternoon when G could hold down the fort.

I am very thankful I never got sick. Our school schedule was suspended for the week, so I had lots of time to read and finished a couple of good books. I'm on a true crime kick right now and just got done today with London 1849: A Victorian Murder Story, about a couple who murdered a friend for his money. Michael Alpert wrote much more about everyday life in that era, almost like a history book rather than a typical crime account, and I found it fascinating.

Lizzie Borden didn't really kill her father and stepmother. Her illegitimate brother did it, according to author Arnold Brown. I didn't care for Brown's style of writing -- it reminded me of your hairy-eared great-uncle who won't ever get to the point in his long story, with a lot of "more on this later" and "we'll talk more about that in later chapters" and "this was important, as you will see." I didn't finish it, just read the first few chapters and skimmed the last few, because life's too short. (Also, I wanted to prove to a certain brother that I don't actually like or finish every book I start!)

Lucky I didn't finish, because that gave me time to discover Erik Larson. I started The Devil in the White City, which is an amazing historical account of the architect Daniel Burnham, genius architect behind the 1893 Chicago World's Fair, and serial killer H.H. Holmes, who used the fair to lure victims to his "castle." I'm looking forward to finishing this one and exploring more of Larson's books.

One thing my brother got right is that I can't just have one book going at a time. Joseph Wambaugh's The Blooding is on my list for tonight, and because I can't just read blood and guts all the time, I also plan on cracking open Sari Solden's Women With Attention Deficit Disorder. I recently finished her Journeys Through ADDulthood, which I found extremely enlightening.

(Oh yeah, and I also got a chance to see Duke get crushed by Villanova in the NCAA tournament. Sweet!)

A visit from Influenza A

2009-03-25T08:44:00.000-07:00

Four of the five of us are sick. I am fine, except a little tired from monitoring fevers, breathing treatments, coughs, liquids and meds. We are lucky to have tested positive early on, so that everyone could start an anti-viral within the first 48 hours.

Based on Curly Sue's progression, today should be Moe's peak, and tomorrow or Friday should be Geddy's and Larry's. I hope to remain well, of course, and plan to work on some school and home-related projects. I also brought home books about Lizzie Borden and Jack the Ripper for "light reading" on this gloomy, rainy day.

Onward and upward!

Frugal things

2009-03-18T09:39:00.000-07:00

I'm trying to do five frugal things every day, not only to help our budget but also to remind myself to be thankful for what I have. Yesterday, I:

1. Shopped at Goodwill for spring and summer clothes for Curly Sue. I bought two pairs of capris, four dresses, four skirts/skorts and five shirts for under $50. Name brands are American Girl, Gymboree, The Children's Place and Polly Flanders, so I can't fathom how much I actually saved. She loved all the pieces and was already sorting them and matching them with pieces she already has to make cute, trendy outfits. (She couldn't wear about five things I bought, so I'll return those next week.)

2. I skipped shopping at BJ's because we didn't need anything, though I usually go there to kill time during DD's dance classes and I always buy something.

3. I picked up an inexpensive soda from Dollar General (where I went to buy the one loaf of bread we needed) instead of having a frozen coffee from Starbucks.

4. We accepted an invitation to my parents' house for dinner (my dad's famous St. Patrick's Day reuben sandwiches) instead of eating out as we normally do on Tuesdays.

5. I decided to bake homemade treats for my small group girls for tonight instead of buying treats at the grocery as I normally do.

No, these things aren't earth-shattering, but I am working on my attitude of thankfulness for the Lenten season. Also, I hope to make a donation representing my foregone indulgences around Easter.

Hi ho, hi ho

2009-03-09T11:14:00.000-07:00

When I left my full-time job as a newspaper sports reporter/editor more than 10 years ago, I thought I had left that part of myself behind. After all, 60-hour week is not compatible with raising and educating three children and maintaining a home. I have freelanced for a magazine, written and edited tab sections and set up a new business (writing web copy, bios, etc.) on a contractual basis, but I moved away from all my contacts three years ago.

I met with the local newspaper's publisher this morning, and I am going to write the copy for a "green" tab to be published around Earth Day. It's something I am really excited about, and the meeting went well. I'm a bit nervous because of the length of time I've been away, but I have to admit that newspapers have stayed in my blood all these years and I can't wait to get started.

Wish me luck!

My windows are open

2009-03-07T11:25:00.000-08:00

A fresh spring breeze is blowing the stale winter away, and it makes me realize...

...there's nothing quite as revolting as the smell of blooming Bartlett pear trees.

Blech.

Another birthday!

2009-02-25T17:56:00.000-08:00

We came home soaking wet tonight, but it was for a very good reason...Moe was baptized! He didn't want to have a big production made of it, so he decided on the spur of the moment (but not really, because he's been ready for about two years now) to have his youth leader, his dad and me baptize him after tonight's service. So his physical birthday is Feb. 23, but his spiritual birthday is Feb. 25.

I pray that he stays strong and on fire for God. My heart is so full...

Search my heart, O God

2009-02-24T07:18:00.000-08:00

In the movie Twister, Philip Seymour Hoffman plays a slightly off-center storm chaser named Dusty who is asked to "explain to her why you are...the way you are."

In everyday life, I feel as though I'm doing the same thing to myself. I joke that if anyone ever spent time with my mother, my grandmother or any of my aunts they would know why I am...the way I am, and truly that's not far off the mark (think dark family secrets). Why did I say that? Why did I react that way? Why, why, why?

Because God uses everything to His glory, I don't really have to know why. It's amazing, though to be 40 years old and still discovering things about myself. I'm reading a book that I guess could be classified as a Christian self-help book -- hey, it's cheaper than a therapist! -- and it's laying me open. Very, very uncomfortable. Before, I never really knew how bound I was by childhood experiences.

That's not to say I'm "cured," or that I need to be. But any time you realize that you are not loving people to your full potential or in the appropriate ways, it's definitely something that needs to be addressed.

In a time of economic insecurity when love may be all a person has to offer, it certainly makes sense to work on that particular skill!

Happy birthday, Little Boy Blue!

2009-02-23T06:15:00.000-08:00

Today is our baby's 8th birthday. When I found out we were expecting him, his sister was just nine months old. I remember laughing hysterically at the two pink lines on the pregnancy test, and I remember the pregnancy was a nightmare of early labor, countless shots of brethine, restricted activity and hospital stays.

But what a wonderful blessing this child is to us! I truly can't imagine life without our "bonus baby," or the joy his sweet smile and wry sense of humor bring every day of our lives.

His birthday celebration began Saturday evening when his two same-age cousins slept over and watched a new Justice League DVD. After church, we had our family and a couple of neighbor children over for sandwiches, sodas, cake and ice cream. We decorated with Batman and I made his favorite devil's food cake. He received several neat gifts, including more of his beloved Legos.

This morning, his brother and sister gave him their gifts: a Batman coloring book with two sets of Twistables crayons and a Bionicle. Daddy and I are saving our gifts for his exact birthday time, 5:29 p.m. We got him a Lego beach house and a Lego biplane. Dinner is our treat but his choice, and I imagine his birthday cash and Target gift card are burning up his pocket so we'll probably be making a stop there as well.

Happy birthday, sweet angel. I'm so glad I had you!

All hail

2009-02-20T13:58:00.000-08:00

Wednesday brought some super storms. I dropped Larry at church to set up youth AV around 4:30, then took the Littles to the library to return/browse/check out. Shortly thereafter, we were ushered into the interior conference room because of a tornado warning, and Geddy kept us updated from our house, 10 miles away, by cell phone. I was distinctly uneasy because the church's phones were unmanned, so I couldn't check on Larry.

When we got the all-clear, we headed back to church for a quick dinner. Around nine of the children's volunteers showed up to handle the 50 or so children who came. Just about the time we checked everyone in and got in our seats in the "big room," another warning hit and we spent about 20 minutes lined up in the hallway.

It was too late to really have our program by that point, so we started Wall-E and waited for everyone to pick up the children. I took my fifth-graders back to our room to have a little birthday party for one of the girls, but as soon as I heard about yet another wave of storms threatening, I gathered my littles, dropped my nephew off with his daddy and pulled Larry out of youth group so we could beat the weather home.

We did, but man, was it an exhausting evening! Geddy took a photo (above) of the golf ball-sized hail for posterity, and our freezer was full of the buggers when we got home. Fortunately, neither of our cars was damaged and no windows were broken, but we may have to have someone look at our roof.

My funny Valentine

2009-02-15T17:25:00.000-08:00

Geddy worked a charity event starting at 6 a.m. Saturday, so we did our little Valentine date Friday night. Nannie and Paw-Paw took care of The Hat Trick while we did the dinner-and-a-movie thing. Our plan was to see Friday the 13th, but after reading Plugged In Online's review we decided against it. (Another factor was the flushing of Rob Zombie's toilet on us disguised as a Halloween remake. Revolting but not at all scary.)

A new soda fountain/grill has opened on the square of our tiny downtown. Cute date idea, and we do try to support our local businesses. Unfortunately, the food was awful. G got a mediocre chili dog the size of my pinkie and my cheesesteak was dripping with Cheese Whiz and topped with an ice-cold bun.

Ick.

We thought we'd do dessert at a different restaurant, but by the time we shook the dust of the first place off our heels, every other place was packed. We drove by the theatre to see if any other movies appealed to us, but no. Nothing was happening at the local university's performing arts center and no basketball was scheduled, so we were pretty much out of luck.

Good for us that Publix has yummy desserts. We chose a cannoli and a slice of cheesecake and enjoyed them in the cafe area, then drove to pick up our children.

Valentine's Day promised to be just as prosaic and unromantic as our date the night before. We breakfasted on pancakes, biscuits and gravy, pancakes and juice at the fundraiser at which G volunteered, and then I took Moe to the doctor while G took the Bigs to run a couple of errands. Moe had bronchitis and an ear infection that required medication and rest, so when we met up at home it became an impromptu family movie day.

The five of us piled up on our bed to watch Tim Burton's Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, me holding our medicated and sleepy 7-year-old in my arms. Our newest adoptee, a mostly gray cat named Lacie, decided to join us as we ate popcorn, drank soda and giggled at the movie.

As we critiqued and compared (movie to the original with Gene Wilder, both movies to book) and stopped for medicine and snack refill and bathroom breaks, I realized that this spontaneous movie day with lots of laughter and snuggling fed me in a way that no restaurant meal -- no matter how delicious or expensive -- could ever have done.

I was reminded once again that trying to squeeze a whole year's worth of love into one splendidly showy day is near impossible because it will never be enough. Happily, I am one of the truly lucky, happy and blessed to have a family that makes every day Valentine's Day.

Larry got his braces off!

2009-02-11T18:40:00.000-08:00

He goes back to be fitted for retainers tomorrow. He couldn't care less about the braces thing, except that he got a "prescription" from the orthodontist to chew as much gum as he wants. Overall, he's done a terrific job taking care of his teeth while wearing his braces for the last two years, so I treated him to a bag of his favorite kinds of gum.

On another note, Moe saw the orthodontist for the first time and apparently is going to need braces as well. He recommended Moe have his upper baby canines pulled so his front four teeth can straighten up on their own. Curly Sue already has had three of her baby canines pulled and wore a palatal expander for six months, so we've at least gotten that part of her orthodontia done and paid for.

It's pricey, but oh so worth it when you look at what Larry's teeth looked like three or four years ago and what they look like today! (Of course, I think he's a most handsome young man anyway, but of course I'm biased...)

Get this party started

2009-02-10T09:37:00.000-08:00

How do I love P!nk? Let me count the ways...

I DVR'd (is that even a word?) the I'm Not Dead concert a few days ago and Curly Sue and I watched a little of it just now. I tell you, the woman is insanely talented. Yes, I know she's not exactly a model of purity or propriety but what girl doesn't relate to this?

Every day I fight a war against the mirror
I can't take the person starin' back at me
I'm a hazard to myself
Don't let me get me
I'm my own worst enemy
It's bad when you annoy yourself
So irritating
Don't wanna be my friend no more
I wanna be somebody else

And how does this pop star, fearless and iconoclastic, know how I'm ashamed to say I feel sometimes as a 24/7 wife and homeschooling mom?

Go away
Come back
Go away
Come back
Why can't I just have it both ways
Go away
Come back
Go away
Come back
I wish you knew the difference
Go away
Come back
Go away
Give me a chance to miss you
Say goodbye
It'll make me want to kiss you
Go away
Give me a chance to miss you
Say goodbye
It'll make me want to kiss you
Go away
Give me a chance to miss you
Say goodbye It'll make me want to kiss you
Tonight
Leave me alone
I'm lonely
Alone I'm lonely
I'm tired
Leave me alone
I'm lonely
Alone I'm lonely tonight

We're a few decades, hairstyles and piercings apart, but P!nk is definitely my favorite color.

Virus has left the building

2009-02-05T16:26:00.000-08:00

The Hat Trick got beat down by a nasty cold virus which, uninvited, nonetheless set up residence and quite overstayed its welcome. The boys pulled out of it okay but Miss Curly Sue teetered on the brink of pneumonia for a day or two before antibiotics set her on the road to recovery. All in all, it took about three weeks to recover to normal levels.

Geddy went out of town for a few days last week, returned to work Friday and immediately got called out for disaster relief to Kentucky, where some of the worst damage from the ice storm left up to a half-million people without power and/or water for dangerously long periods of time. G's company has a mill there, so that's where the team set up to distribute packages containing blankets, water, some food, toilet tissue, etc. to help those affected folks along. We missed him, of course, but he has a real gift for that kind of thing so we didn't mind loaning him out for a couple of days.

Larry found out Tuesday that he will have his braces removed next week and he is very happy. To straighten his teeth, he had to have his four baby canines removed, wear a palatal expander for six months, have four permanent molars removed and be in full braces for two-plus years. However, he will be completely done before he is a teen except for retainers, and his teeth look beautiful! He says he plans to celebrate with a sackful of bubble gum, and I don't have the heart to tell him how sore he will be for a few days.

G was off Monday, so he decided to treat us to a fun family day because he's been away a lot lately. We took the children to Barnes and Noble for some new books, then to see Paul Blart: Mall Cop (hilarious AND family-friendly). He then treated us to dinner at Taco Mac.

We are looking forward to a second family day tomorrow, when we will visit Callaway Gardens. Through the end of February, Callaway is offering free admission, and we are packing a picnic to keep it frugal. It will be nice to spend a sunny, relatively warm day hiking, relaxing, goofing off and enjoying nature, especially after being cooped up and sick for the better part of January.

All that remains is the fax, ma'am

2009-01-25T16:47:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow, G sends off our notice of intent to homeschool. I'm still not certain of the time frame for withdrawal from Georgia Virtual Academy, but we no longer have access to the online school and I can only assume that means we're officially gone. We've had no contact from the school or the curriculum provider, but that's no surprise because lack of communication was one of the determining factors in our withdrawal.

The children liked their teachers and so did I, so it was hard to leave them. They still will be able to contact them, though, and that takes the sting out of the withdrawal.

We start a full schedule with Curly Sue and Moe tomorrow, except for Prima Latina and Ambleside Online. For another week or two, most of their work will be in workbooks. I hope to finish "Peter and the Shadow Thieves" with them, finally, during read-aloud time. Larry and I are still tweaking his schedule, though we have yet to add his Sonlight 6 elements and Latin Road to English Grammar. Fortunately, he is strong in verbal skills so we are in no rush as he gets comfortable with his science and pre-algebra programs.

G will be traveling this week and on one evening I will be alone with my doggies while The Hat Trick visits Nannie and Paw-Paw. I hope to use that quiet time to work on firming up lesson plans for February and a schedule for the rest of the year. We're shooting for completing our work in late May or early June, taking several weeks off and starting a light schedule the second week of July so we can take regularly scheduled breaks throughout next school year.

Our long-range plans include looking into a co-op situation where Larry can get high school credits for math and science (and possibly other subjects), but we have another full school year to make final decisions. I can't believe my sweet angel baby boy is going to be a teenager in a couple of months! I'd love to stick my head in the sand and ignore the idea of him being in high school, but of course I can't.

Off to look at baby photos now. *sniffle* Maybe listen to "Sunrise, Sunset, too." *sob*

My darling girl

2009-01-25T16:34:00.000-08:00

Having a daughter is a happy, happy thing. Having a happy, happy daughter is a great thing!

I showed Curly Sue a few scenes from Mamma Mia last night and she really liked it. Today at our Sunday lunch restaurant of choice (Mexican...yummy!), we sat across the table from each other. A little boy behind us called for his mama, and she looked up at me with twinkly eyes, took a deep breath and sang, "Mamma Mia/Here I go again/My my/How can I resist ya?"

Of course I joined her, while the boys and Geddy pretended not to know us. They're probably thanking their lucky stars it wasn't "Dancing Queen."

Hee hee!

Mamma Mia...here I go again...my my...

2009-01-24T14:14:00.000-08:00

...how can I be such a dork? I even watched the sing-along version!

I bought Mamma Mia on DVD months ago but just got around to watching it with Geddy (who is a big ABBA fan) this afternoon. It was so much fun, and I can't wait to watch it with Curly Sue! She will love the dancing and singing and there's not too much 'splaining to do.

My favorites in the movie were Meryl Streep, Colin Firth and Christine Baranski. Truly, my only complaint was having to hear Pierce Brosnan "sing." I like happy movies, and this one definitely fit the bill. G's also on a mission to make me watch Xanadu, but the five minutes I saw of that one made my brain bleed.

Tonight, we plan on watching Almost Famous, one of my all-time favorites. We lost track of our original DVD -- we might actually have worn it out -- but picked it up again for beans. We also have Eagle Eye to watch if there's time.

If I had to list a few of my favorite movies besides Almost Famous, the Lord of the Rings trilogy would definitely be at the top. I really like Back to the Future, A Mighty Wind, Sense and Sensibility, A Hard Day's Night and Friday. My favorite scary movie is the original Halloween. I also enjoy this Hamlet and this Much Ado About Nothing.

Funny...G just walked in from getting our fast food dinner, looked over my shoulder and said most of his Facebook-listed favorites are on my list, except he likes this Hamlet. I knew I married the man for a reason!

But I'm still not watching Xanadu.

Germs for a winter day

2009-01-21T08:20:00.001-08:00

The Hat Trick is down for the count with a nasty cold, spread amongst the three. They are bummed because tonight is The Journey and they love to go. They'll miss the "big game" at the university tomorrow night as well.

Presently, they are full of supplements, breakfast, juice/tea and Zyrtec and happily involved in a Moody Science Classic. We might not be able to go anywhere, but the learning never stops. Yesterday, we watched President Obama's inauguration and we recorded MLK's "I Have a Dream" speech to watch together as well. MLK's birthday is the same day as my dad's and late brother's birthday, Jan. 15, though it's rarely (never?) celebrated on the actual day.

....

A few minutes ago, I let Susie out and sat on my sunny steps contemplating the quiet while she did her business. It's not warm out. I walked across the grass to the mailbox and the frost in the shady part of the yard burned and froze my bare feet. Turning back empty-handed, I found myself face to beak with a mockingbird. We stared at each other until Susie came tearing back through the bushes, begging to be let inside.

"He shook his little tail at me, and far away he flew."

....

Today I reorganize the school room and introduce Larry to the Latin Road to English Grammar. Next week, we solidify the littles' schedule. I can't believe the relief I feel without all the extra pressure from the charter school. I'm sorry that didn't work out, but at least I know which direction we're heading. A long, warm nap will help with everyone's sickies and be just the thing to get us back on track. I have several books to keep me company: The Myth of Laziness, the ADHD Book of Lists, Nourishing Traditions and maybe some true crime.

Or maybe I'll just take a nap too!

Our 44th President

2009-01-20T14:12:00.000-08:00

"My fellow citizens:

I stand here today humbled by the task before us, grateful for the trust you have bestowed, mindful of the sacrifices borne by our ancestors. I thank President Bush for his service to our nation, as well as the generosity and cooperation he has shown throughout this transition.

Forty-four Americans have now taken the presidential oath. The words have been spoken during rising tides of prosperity and the still waters of peace. Yet, every so often the oath is taken amidst gathering clouds and raging storms. At these moments, America has carried on not simply because of the skill or vision of those in high office, but because we the people have remained faithful to the ideals of our forebears, and true to our founding documents.

So it has been. So it must be with this generation of Americans.

That we are in the midst of crisis is now well understood. Our nation is at war, against a far-reaching network of violence and hatred. Our economy is badly weakened, a consequence of greed and irresponsibility on the part of some, but also our collective failure to make hard choices and prepare the nation for a new age. Homes have been lost; jobs shed; businesses shuttered. Our health care is too costly; our schools fail too many; and each day brings further evidence that the ways we use energy strengthen our adversaries and threaten our planet.

These are the indicators of crisis, subject to data and statistics. Less measurable but no less profound is a sapping of confidence across our land — a nagging fear that America's decline is inevitable, and that the next generation must lower its sights.

Today I say to you that the challenges we face are real. They are serious and they are many. They will not be met easily or in a short span of time. But know this, America — they will be met.

On this day, we gather because we have chosen hope over fear, unity of purpose over conflict and discord.

On this day, we come to proclaim an end to the petty grievances and false promises, the recriminations and worn out dogmas, that for far too long have strangled our politics.

We remain a young nation, but in the words of Scripture, the time has come to set aside childish things. The time has come to reaffirm our enduring spirit; to choose our better history; to carry forward that precious gift, that noble idea, passed on from generation to generation: the God-given promise that all are equal, all are free and all deserve a chance to pursue their full measure of happiness.

In reaffirming the greatness of our nation, we understand that greatness is never a given. It must be earned. Our journey has never been one of shortcuts or settling for less. It has not been the path for the faint-hearted — for those who prefer leisure over work, or seek only the pleasures of riches and fame. Rather, it has been the risk-takers, the doers, the makers of things — some celebrated but more often men and women obscure in their labor, who have carried us up the long, rugged path towards prosperity and freedom.

For us, they packed up their few worldly possessions and traveled across oceans in search of a new life.

For us, they toiled in sweatshops and settled the West; endured the lash of the whip and plowed the hard earth.

For us, they fought and died, in places like Concord and Gettysburg; Normandy and Khe Sanh.

Time and again these men and women struggled and sacrificed and worked till their hands were raw so that we might live a better life. They saw America as bigger than the sum of our individual ambitions; greater than all the differences of birth or wealth or faction.

This is the journey we continue today. We remain the most prosperous, powerful nation on Earth. Our workers are no less productive than when this crisis began. Our minds are no less inventive, our goods and services no less needed than they were last week or last month or last year. Our capacity remains undiminished. But our time of standing pat, of protecting narrow interests and putting off unpleasant decisions — that time has surely passed. Starting today, we must pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and begin again the work of remaking America.

For everywhere we look, there is work to be done. The state of the economy calls for action, bold and swift, and we will act — not only to create new jobs, but to lay a new foundation for growth. We will build the roads and bridges, the electric grids and digital lines that feed our commerce and bind us together. We will restore science to its rightful place, and wield technology's wonders to raise health care's quality and lower its cost. We will harness the sun and the winds and the soil to fuel our cars and run our factories. And we will transform our schools and colleges and universities to meet the demands of a new age. All this we can do. All this we will do.

Now, there are some who question the scale of our ambitions — who suggest that our system cannot tolerate too many big plans. Their memories are short. For they have forgotten what this country has already done; what free men and women can achieve when imagination is joined to common purpose, and necessity to courage.

What the cynics fail to understand is that the ground has shifted beneath them — that the stale political arguments that have consumed us for so long no longer apply. The question we ask today is not whether our government is too big or too small, but whether it works — whether it helps families find jobs at a decent wage, care they can afford, a retirement that is dignified. Where the answer is yes, we intend to move forward. Where the answer is no, programs will end. Those of us who manage the public's dollars will be held to account — to spend wisely, reform bad habits, and do our business in the light of day — because only then can we restore the vital trust between a people and their government.

Nor is the question before us whether the market is a force for good or ill. Its power to generate wealth and expand freedom is unmatched, but this crisis has reminded us that without a watchful eye, the market can spin out of control — and that a nation cannot prosper long when it favors only the prosperous. The success of our economy has always depended not just on the size of our gross domestic product, but on the reach of our prosperity; on our ability to extend opportunity to every willing heart — not out of charity, but because it is the surest route to our common good.

As for our common defense, we reject as false the choice between our safety and our ideals. Our founding fathers ... our found fathers, faced with perils we can scarcely imagine, drafted a charter to assure the rule of law and the rights of man, a charter expanded by the blood of generations. Those ideals still light the world, and we will not give them up for expedience's sake. And so to all the other peoples and governments who are watching today, from the grandest capitals to the small village where my father was born: know that America is a friend of each nation and every man, woman, and child who seeks a future of peace and dignity, and that we are ready to lead once more.

Recall that earlier generations faced down fascism and communism not just with missiles and tanks, but with sturdy alliances and enduring convictions. They understood that our power alone cannot protect us, nor does it entitle us to do as we please. Instead, they knew that our power grows through its prudent use; our security emanates from the justness of our cause, the force of our example, the tempering qualities of humility and restraint.

We are the keepers of this legacy. Guided by these principles once more, we can meet those new threats that demand even greater effort — even greater cooperation and understanding between nations. We will begin to responsibly leave Iraq to its people, and forge a hard-earned peace in Afghanistan. With old friends and former foes, we will work tirelessly to lessen the nuclear threat, and roll back the specter of a warming planet. We will not apologize for our way of life, nor will we waver in its defense, and for those who seek to advance their aims by inducing terror and slaughtering innocents, we say to you now that our spirit is stronger and cannot be broken; you cannot outlast us, and we will defeat you.

For we know that our patchwork heritage is a strength, not a weakness. We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus — and non-believers. We are shaped by every language and culture, drawn from every end of this Earth; and because we have tasted the bitter swill of civil war and segregation, and emerged from that dark chapter stronger and more united, we cannot help but believe that the old hatreds shall someday pass; that the lines of tribe shall soon dissolve; that as the world grows smaller, our common humanity shall reveal itself; and that America must play its role in ushering in a new era of peace.

To the Muslim world, we seek a new way forward, based on mutual interest and mutual respect. To those leaders around the globe who seek to sow conflict, or blame their society's ills on the West — know that your people will judge you on what you can build, not what you destroy. To those who cling to power through corruption and deceit and the silencing of dissent, know that you are on the wrong side of history; but that we will extend a hand if you are willing to unclench your fist.

To the people of poor nations, we pledge to work alongside you to make your farms flourish and let clean waters flow; to nourish starved bodies and feed hungry minds. And to those nations like ours that enjoy relative plenty, we say we can no longer afford indifference to the suffering outside our borders; nor can we consume the world's resources without regard to effect. For the world has changed, and we must change with it.

As we consider the road that unfolds before us, we remember with humble gratitude those brave Americans who, at this very hour, patrol far-off deserts and distant mountains. They have something to tell us, just as the fallen heroes who lie in Arlington whisper through the ages. We honor them not only because they are guardians of our liberty, but because they embody the spirit of service; a willingness to find meaning in something greater than themselves. And yet, at this moment — a moment that will define a generation — it is precisely this spirit that must inhabit us all.

For as much as government can do and must do, it is ultimately the faith and determination of the American people upon which this nation relies. It is the kindness to take in a stranger when the levees break, the selflessness of workers who would rather cut their hours than see a friend lose their job which sees us through our darkest hours. It is the firefighter's courage to storm a stairway filled with smoke, but also a parent's willingness to nurture a child, that finally decides our fate.

Our challenges may be new. The instruments with which we meet them may be new. But those values upon which our success depends — hard work and honesty, courage and fair play, tolerance and curiosity, loyalty and patriotism — these things are old. These things are true. They have been the quiet force of progress throughout our history. What is demanded then is a return to these truths. What is required of us now is a new era of responsibility — a recognition, on the part of every American, that we have duties to ourselves, our nation, and the world, duties that we do not grudgingly accept but rather seize gladly, firm in the knowledge that there is nothing so satisfying to the spirit, so defining of our character, than giving our all to a difficult task.

This is the price and the promise of citizenship.

This is the source of our confidence — the knowledge that God calls on us to shape an uncertain destiny.

This is the meaning of our liberty and our creed — why men and women and children of every race and every faith can join in celebration across this magnificent Mall, and why a man whose father less than sixty years ago might not have been served at a local restaurant can now stand before you to take a most sacred oath.

So let us mark this day with remembrance, of who we are and how far we have traveled. In the year of America's birth, in the coldest of months, a small band of patriots huddled by dying campfires on the shores of an icy river. The capital was abandoned. The enemy was advancing. The snow was stained with blood. At a moment when the outcome of our revolution was most in doubt, the father of our nation ordered these words be read to the people:

"Let it be told to the future world ... that in the depth of winter, when nothing but hope and virtue could survive...that the city and the country, alarmed at one common danger, came forth to meet (it)."

America, in the face of our common dangers, in this winter of our hardship, let us remember these timeless words. With hope and virtue, let us brave once more the icy currents, and endure what storms may come. Let it be said by our children's children that when we were tested we refused to let this journey end, that we did not turn back nor did we falter; and with eyes fixed on the horizon and God's grace upon us, we carried forth that great gift of freedom and delivered it safely to future generations.

Thank you. God bless you. And God bless the United States of America."

Thinking before I speak (or write)

2009-01-16T08:47:00.000-08:00

Last night's post included a rude comment about my husband, which I have since deleted. I usually make a rule of not speaking critically about Geddy, but I certainly broke it last night. My apologies.

While I was at the doctor's office yesterday, the nurse asked how long it's been since I had a tetanus shot. I couldn't remember, so she gave me one. Instead of having it in my left arm, I had it in my right (dominant), so now I'm having trouble lifting and doing things.

Larry and I are going this afternoon to pick up a friend to visit overnight, so he is busy cleaning downstairs. I'm sorely tempted to invite a friend every weekend if it ensures his room and bathroom will be tidied.

Curly Sue and Moe plan to make a clubhouse of dining room chairs, sheets and blankets so they can camp out in the living room tonight. They are going to watch movies on the laptop and sleep on their sleeping bags, and probably eat candy and make a mess. Good times. Reminds me of my little brother and me.

Geddy and I have several movies we bought or were given but haven't seen. We'll probably start with Last of the Summer Wine: Bringing Sam Home, but we also have a Dana Carvey DVD, Iron Man, Eagle Eye, Almost Famous and the Scream trilogy. It's cold out, dinner is pizza, the soda is chilling in the fridge and the house should be tidy enough to stave off guilt. Nothing planned for tomorrow, either. I love Fridays!

White roses

2009-01-15T18:27:00.000-08:00

The Hat Trick and I visited my brother's grave today, on what would have been his 45th birthday. He shares it with my dad, who turned 73. We gave Daddy Appaloosa, a Caffeine-Free Diet Coke, a pack of Raisinets and a bag of in-the-shell peanuts. (He also got a new central heating unit after the heat pump gave out earlier this week -- $7,000. My mom joked she doesn't know how she'll top it next year.)

We left white sweetheart roses on Ben's footstone.

Today: I lost my wedding ring petting my parents' dog but I found it. I had to have my foot x-rayed five times to find out that stepping off a curb onto the side of my foot and rolling my ankle with my full weight behind it is, well, bad for that foot. It's been two years since that incident, and I now have a nasty bone spur that hurts. A lot. All the time.

The 14 pills a day I'm taking to kill off H. pylori bacteria are awful but my blood pressure medication is working. I will be glad when I'm back to three pills and a multivitamin a day.

Well, whaddya know?

2009-01-10T09:51:00.000-08:00

My bloodwork came back, and I have Heliobacter pylori. I was first treated for it in June and I don't know if it came back or never left. I will start a new round of antibiotics and stomach medicine Monday, but I'm not certain whether I'll have to have an upper GI.

I took Curly Sue to the allergist last week because she's been running a low-grade fever and having headaches and tummyaches for a few days, off and on. He spent about three seconds looking at her, very shortly said, "She's got a virus" and told me to make her drink liquids. I started to ask him about some literature I've been reading about wheat and dairy intolerances and their cumulative effect, intending to see if he thought there was a connection between that and her symptoms over the last few months, but he cut me off and said, "You'll have to ask your pediatrician about that." I like the other allergist better but his attitude is much the same, so I have gotten the name of a naturopathic doctor a few towns over, and I hope to have him check out the children.

It's tough when I know *something* isn't right but can't put my finger on it, especially when a doctor blows me off like that!

I'm leaving in a little while to meet up with some of my high school girlfriends. I can't wait to catch up with them and see what they're doing now. I'm sitting in total silence -- Geddy took The Hat Trick out to lunch and to run some errands, so I had a lovely, long, hot shower with no interruptions. (I joke that I haven't been to the bathroom by myself in 13 years, but truthfully that's not far off the mark.)

My friends and I are meeting at Olive Garden, and because the children are staying with my parents and G has a work dinner, I may actually visit the mall for awhile before heading home. An hour or two by myself at Borders, and maybe a tall coffee, will be heaven.

Tomorrow I start lesson planning for the rest of our school year. I needed a few things to round out the littles' schedule and quite a lot (cost-wise, at least) for Larry. I ordered Wordly Wise for all three; Sequential Spelling, The Complete Writer and Horizons Math for the littles; Teaching Textbooks Pre-Algebra, Apologia Science and Latin Road to English Grammar for Larry. He will pick up in Sonlight 6 for writing, literature, history and geography. I will be glad to be back in control of our schedule!

Welcome back to normal

2009-01-05T06:50:00.000-08:00

Well, here we are. New year, new schedule, new goals.

We are withdrawing from Georgia Virtual Academy, effective immediately. We stuck it out for a semester instead of a year. We all really tried to make it work, but for many reasons it just...didn't.

Larry is growing up fast. In the past few months, his voice has deepened and he is showing other signs of hitting the teenage years. Unfortunately, that means that the ADHD we've kept under control with behavior modification all these years has become a blazing problem. We are adding supplements, organizing differently and turning to a gluten and dairy-free diet for relief.

Today, we plan to pick up our paperwork from the school board and tidy our school room. We have allergy shots for the littles and need to return our books to the library, along with a promised trip to Target to spend some Christmas cash. We are looking forward to a calm day in which we ease back into our schedule.

Oh yeah, and I am going to learn the Cha-Cha Slide today!

Happy 40th birthday to me...belatedly

2008-12-15T07:00:00.000-08:00

This tattoo is what I gave myself for my 40th birthday. It only took four months to work up the courage. It's not very pretty right now. Apparently it takes awhile for the haze to clear up and I only got it done Friday. It's not anywhere "private" -- it's on my back near my left shoulder so I can either show it or cover it.

The "B" is for my brother Ben, who lived out his 43 years not caring too much what other people thought of him.

Did it hurt? Hmmm...hard to describe. It's like a cat constantly scratching you while you're being massaged. Odd. Pretty sore for a couple of days. I had my nose pierced at the same time, which pinched a little at the time but has not been sore since. I like it even better than the tattoo.

Yes, I know -- you're fainting from the shock. Breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth until it passes.

Christmas pragmatic

2008-12-12T10:39:00.000-08:00

If you're still on the lookout for an unusual gift with a philanthropic twist, wander on over to TOMS Shoes. For every pair of shoes purchased, a second pair is donated to a child in need.

Christmas new

2008-12-12T10:19:00.000-08:00

For many years, Geddy's parents and brother joined us for Christmas. That changed in 2006, when Mama Lois was too sick from late-stage cancer to make the trip. We kept our date last year, though Mama Lois celebrated Christmas in heaven without us.

This year, Pop will be traveling and we will be on our own. We've never attended a candelight Christmas Eve service or midnight Mass at a Catholic church, and those are two things I've always wanted to experience. Maybe that will be on our list this year. Maybe we'll stay at home and cook a big dinner together with everyone's favorites. Maybe we'll have pizza and watch "It's a Wonderful Life" and "White Christmas" and "Elf."

Change isn't easy but inherent in new circumstances is tremendous potential for new growth and abundant blessing.

One of the conscious changes we've made is to volunteer in the children's department at church, where Curly Sue and Moe learn each Wednesday and Sunday. At the Lord's prodding, I left a fun, all-adult fellowship ministry to serve with the children, helping with fifth-grade girls. Geddy and Larry help with AV. For the first few weeks I was sure I was completely in the wrong place, overwhelmed by the...well, the fifth-graderiness of the girls.

Little by little, without my even noticing, I fell fiercely in love with my girls. Tonight, the other leader and I are sponsoring a slumber/Christmas party with them and I am absurdly excited to participate, as opposed to being horrified at the very thought back in September.

That's what I mean about change. I was sad to leave behind my sweet friends in the kitchen to immerse myself in children's ministry, especially when my main "job" is to educate my own three children, all day every day. God definitely had a lesson to teach me, suprising me with a capacity to love and serve that I had greatly underestimated in myself.

I will look at our first Christmas without company with wistful nostalgia but also with some anticipation of the abundant joy promised to us. After all, the few precious years we have with our children is something to be celebrated, and what better way to build great Christmas memories than to create traditions that bring out our unique family traits and interests?

It's definitely a season for growth. How incredible it is that we get to combine it with this Christmas season!

All four eyes on you

2008-11-09T19:42:00.000-08:00

Well, it was bound to happen. Geddy and I both needed corrective lenses beginning in our young teen years, so we started taking the children for annual eye exams when Larry was 11. Oddly enough, it is Moe that first needs glasses. Odder still, he's not even nearsighted like his dad and me but needs them for schoolwork, reading and computer work. They're adorable and he's very happy because he thinks he looks like Dad in them.

Larry is on a tear with the drums right now. It is absolutely incredible to see this child I carried inside me do amazing things I never could dream of doing. I always thought I'd be sadder to watch him grow into a young man, but he is just so interesting as a person separate from me and I so much enjoy learning with and from him that I forget to miss him as a baby. He wants to chase tornadoes and play drums in a Christian band and engineer warning sirens and make movies -- to watch the world unfold in front of his eyes is a gift. (That, and no messy nappies.)

Miss Curly Sue had a week she'd rather forget. G took the children to the lake to play last weekend and was teaching her to shell sunflower seeds in her mouth like a baseball player, only one went down her throat sideways and -- we thought -- scratched enough to make her throat sore. All three children came home to me full of stories about the fantastic hill down which they rolled repeatedly, but no one noticed the spider Curly rolled over on one of her trips down. Clearly offended, said spider took a bite at Curly's arm and left a nasty abcess.

Curly griped about her throat until I took a peek and discovered that the sunflower seed shell never made it down and instead was lodged firmly in her right tonsil. New doctor, awkward explanation of odd injuries, prodding and gagging, 10-day antibiotic...you get the picture. She's definitely off sunflower seeds now.

Today's lovely fall day that we spent picnicking, playing soccer and baseball, exploring and rolling down hills, almost made up for our aborted plans two weeks ago. G took three days off, the first to accompany us on a field trip and the others to visit his dad and drive up to a little alpine village in north Georgia. Pop's lady friend cooked us a tasty lunch, and we got ready to follow them to the village. I realized I'd had a grumpy headache most of the day, so I thought I'd swallow a couple of ibuprofen pills to ward off anything nastier.

It was too late. We'd only been in the car 10 minutes when we had to pull over because a migraine had taken hold and nausea was setting in. We made it the other 20 minutes, parked by the river and prayed the Advil would hold.

It didn't.

I sent the lot out into the village while I tried to tame my head with fresh air and a nap in the van, but they had only been out of sight five minutes when I lost my lunch and Advil plus some right there on the riverbank. It figures. I'd been wanting to visit and show the children the town for six months, and it was a perfect autumn day, and I was barfing all over the bushes. We had planned to stay overnight and mosey our way home Halloween afternoon in time for the festivities, but instead I wound up in a walk-in clinic for a phenergan injection so I could get home to my own bed, where I stayed three days. I missed trick-or-treating with the children and didn't even get to see them dressed up.

That was only my second migraine, but I remember my mom having awful "sick headaches" and my grandmother has told me she had headaches so bad she prayed to die. Wonderful. Next thing you know, I'll be having my bladder tacked up as well.

....

Last Thursday was the anniversary of my brother Ben's death in a car wreck. My parents, brothers, sisters-in-law, nieces and nephews gathered at his grave Saturday afternoon to remember him with stories about his life, a song Bubby wrote, and some messages we wanted him to hear. It was beautiful and painful. Afterward, we had a bonfire at my parents' and missed him some more, even as we were all enjoying being together. After a whole year, I still can't get out of the habit of looking around for him at family gatherings or look for his number on Caller ID or e-mail him something interesting. The grief has turned into something duller but ever-present, like a pulled muscle that pains sharply with a sudden turn of my head. Still, we are the same old clan -- loud, loving, emotional -- that we have always been, just with a gaping hole in our midst.

Finally, I'm "getting" Georgia Virtual Academy!

2008-10-03T07:12:00.000-07:00

I attended the principal's Elluminate session Monday and was stunned to be told it usually takes new families about three months to find their stride.

Three months.

Not five days, not two weeks, not a month, but three months. That makes sense! We haven't been in public school for seven years and never have participated in any umbrella program, so to go in blind and learn everything about a virtual public school program in just a few days would be impossible, especially with the teachers and administrators making adjustments and finding their ways as well.

After my meltdown a couple of weeks ago, I gritted my teeth and dug in to honor my one-year commitment to the program. Almost immediately, things began to turn around. We learned we would be able to attend the presidential inauguration because of the efforts of Larry's teacher; Larry began attending live classes online, beaming with pride at every "atta boy" he received from teachers who aren't me; we received our missing materials; the children absolutely loved the Study Island test prep program; we set up a more workable schedule; and we completely banished the option of withdrawing this year.

Although we haven't had official parent-teacher conferences, we are blessed with Mrs. Bertrang and Mrs. Grout, who do their best to answer my zillion questions quickly and accurately. In addition to the inauguration, we will get to participate in some other fun outings like the Center for Puppetry Arts, and a Yahoo GVA group for folks in our area just opened.

Anyway, I realize that I have spent previous posts outlining my frustrations with GVA, but believe me, if we didn't think this program has tremendous potential we'd be outta here. It just takes time and patience, and though I'm not blessed with an overabundance of either, my heels are still dug in and my teeth are still gritted, with the hopes of relaxing both as I get the hang of things.

Right reasons

2008-10-01T10:16:00.000-07:00

Geddy is on his way home from the Texas coast, where he and the other members of his company's group gave away two tractor-trailer loads of supplies to storm victims. I was so much in support of this project that I hijacked my own e-mail list -- the last time I did it was to tell everyone my brother had been killed -- to drum up support and donations.

Imagine my dismay when, in speaking to one of the team members last week, he mentioned how they couldn't go down to the coast with half-empty trucks because they had to make a good show for a customer down there. "We're up for review with them," he said, "and we want to leave a good impression."

What the??? How 'bout all the folks who wouldn't get what they needed to LIVE?

The subject came up again when another member of the team mentioned how great it would be to buy some supplies to keep on hand at the company for disaster relief. That way, salespeople could parade potential customers past the stash and talk about the noble things the company is doing.

So I called BS.

It's not at all noble to use other folks' suffering as a springboard to promote your business. Help because it's the right thing, not because you might profit from it.

So the next time this company needs my help to help others, I'll know it's really all about promoting itself. I'll keep my money in my pocket and my e-mail contacts in my file.

Lesson learned.

Dog days

2008-09-26T05:28:00.000-07:00

Our Moe is as sensitive as they make 'em. He's rough and tumble, just as he ought to be. He loves dogs. So when we chose novels from this year's second-grade reading list, Stone Fox -- a story about a boy who competes with his beloved dog Searchlight in a sled race -- seemed like a perfect choice.

He settled down Wednesday after lunch to read it. He kept popping in on my lessons with Larry and Curly Sue to tell me all the exciting things happening in the race. Then he walked in with his best I'm-a-big-boy-trying-not-to-cry expression and said in a trembling little voice, "You do NOT need to read the end of this book. Searchlight dies."

Then he burst into tears.

Then I burst into tears.

Then he had an asthma episode. (And he's not our asthmatic child!)

I read the end of the book and it was extremely sad. Too sad for a second-grade dog-lover, too heavy a suitcase for my little guy to carry. Another in-my-face reminder that I just can't take someone else's word for what's appropriate for my children to read.

No more dog books for awhile, unless it's Walter the Farting Dog -- that one has a sequel, so I know Walter must make it safely past the end.

- - -

In other news, we are going to the inauguration in January. Larry's teacher in Georgia Virtual Academy has put together a trip for students that will allow all five of us to go, and we are pretty excited. We know regardless of who wins the election, it will be historic and we hope to have a great experience.

- - -

In other other news, we took a field trip to the remains of a Georgia gold mine yesterday. It was a really neat tour!

- - -

In even other-er news, yesterday's checkup at the allergist did not go well for Moe. Larry came through with flying colors and remains off all asthma medications except one shot each month (praise God!), but Moe's came up a little short on his breathing function test. Dr. H. wouldn't have worried, he said, except that the abovementioned Stone Fox-related breathing difficulties concerned him.

Moe got some Xopenex and another test, after which he got three days' Orapred, instructions for nebulizer treatments and a follow-up appointment.

I have been dreading the day we start down that road, but now that it's here, I guess I'm a little relieved. At least he's already on an immunotherapy regimen.

- - -

If you feel so inclined, prayers for Geddy and the rest of the team of volunteers from his company would be appreciated. They are headed to Texas to help with hurricane relief efforts in one of the small coastal towns.

Pulled back from the edge

2008-09-21T15:22:00.000-07:00

I was ready to withdraw from Georgia Virtual Academy. I already had researched alternatives, bookmarked pages, made up courses of study and yakked at my poor husband for hours about unfulfilled promises and poor communication and the fact that, nearly seven weeks into the school year, my daughter still didn't have her history materials -- and the k12 representative said it was because "GVA had canceled the order." (GVA hadn't.)

Flamin' mad, I made up my mind to quit.

But, see, our family had made a commitment in March. It was a commitment to enroll in GVA and meet all its requirements for one school year, to see where it takes us. That commitment has to mean something, even if it's inconvenience, aggravation, headache and stress.

So Geddy and I decided to stick around. I prayed for peace and I was given it, and I dug in my heels and gritted my teeth and opened a book for the rest of the ride home from the beach.

I started laughing when we pulled into the driveway and a package from k12 was waiting on the porch.

'Cause God honors commitment, y'all.

Angels and tigers and...sorry, I got nothing

2008-09-17T16:55:00.000-07:00

We're at the beach. We are swimming, eating like pigs, amusing ourselves with various activities and doing schoolwork.

Yesterday was a four-hour living history lesson at Sherman Field, home of the Navy's Blue Angels. The Pensacola base also hosts a great museum, the National Naval Aviation Museum. We got to see the Blue Angels practice and tour the museum, plus take a bus ride through the planes permanently parked there.

Today, it was biology. We visited the Gulf Coast Zoo and saw the Marcan Tigers, breathtakingly beautiful animals trained from birth in captivity. There also were some darn cute babies, 11 weeks old, and we got to touch their precious little heads.

Tomorrow is Curly Sue's ninth birthday, so it's her choice. I imagine we'll be building monster sand castles and eating a burger at LuLu's. Nannie and Paw-Paw will join us bearing birthday cake tomorrow evening. She doesn't know it yet, but in addition to the two Barbie movies she chose, she'll be receiving a Ruthie American Girl doll. I can't wait to see her face!

Trashy vacation television and junky vacation food are loudly calling, so I must go.

More on my prickly friend and hero

2008-09-12T07:06:00.000-07:00

For months now I've said I'm going to start posting "My Hero Monday." Not terrifically original, maybe, but I run into so many everyday folks who are accomplishing amazing things that I just want to start keeping track.

Long ago in journalism school, a professor told me that everyone has a story worth reading if it's written right. Some of 'em just jump out at you.

My prickly friend, M, told me it would be okay to tell more about her. It's not Monday but here goes.

M is my hero because she has done the right thing even though it has turned her life upside down and inside out. She took the long way around, including teenage motherhood and divorce/remarriage, to stability and then got the call that would change her life yet again.

It was the police, telling them M's brother-in-law and his girlfriend had gotten into a domestic dispute and that the couple's five children needed a place to stay for a week or so. M and family agreed to take them in.

But what they thought would be a week turned into a lifetime. M and her husband have permanent custody of the five siblings in addition to her three.

You know what else makes her my hero? I've never heard her complain. In fact, she talks about her tricksy entry into the world of youth pastoring as a way for God to prepare her for unexpected massive motherhood. She never liked anyone's children but her own until she had to step into a youth leadership role in a former church, just before she got custody of the "new" kids.

As with most children in sub-ideal homes, M's new kids had lots of problems. And then there were the nightmares of paperwork, background checks, finances, insurance, housing and scheduling, in addition to staying under the bio father's radar to protect the children. M and her husband have had the children for four years or so now, and when I met them a year or so ago, it never occurred to me that they were anything but a big ol' traditional, nuclear family.

And building a seamless love from a bunch of broken and damaged parts? That's what makes M my hero.

Baby Jake is here!

2008-09-12T06:59:00.000-07:00

My friend Kelly called this morning with the blessed news of her third child's arrival. Baby Jake joins his big sisters, ages 4 and newly 9, and we were so happy to hear of his healthy and quick birth this morning!

"Sons are a heritage of the Lord, children a reward from him." -- Psalm 127:3

This is me, bragging

2008-09-11T05:33:00.000-07:00

Moe had a week or two of rocky behavior, so imagine how proud we were when he told us he earned 25 extra points last night in church for sitting quietly while all the other third-grade boys were acting up!

He was also the only boy in his group who had learned his memory verse and completed his challenge from Sunday, and Curly Sue was one of only two in her group.

It was a good Mama night.

Come on down!

2008-09-10T04:47:00.000-07:00

Geddy and I got to play The Price is Right -- sorta -- over the weekend.

In our house, we have two drivers and three cars. We replaced our aging minivan two years ago with a Volvo V-50 wagon (used, great price). Last fall, the 1966 VW Beetle show car Geddy and Larry spent nine months restoring joined our family, which also includes a 10-year-old Nissan Maxima.

The Volvo is a great car but as the children grow, they are starting to get a bit cramped in the back seat. Geddy and I had just hatched a plan to start looking for a good deal on a minivan or SUV when my parents announced they were going to buy a new van, so we talked them into selling us their 2003 Kia Sedona when they bought their new Nissan Quest.

Which made four cars for two drivers, which was at least one too many.

The Maxima has been a great car, but it needed some work. In addition to a deep cleaning/detailing, the brakes need to be replaced and it needs a tuneup. Half of our selling price would have been eaten up in repairs. What to do?

Geddy said, "Maybe we should give it away" about the same time I said, "I think we should give it away."

It wasn't at all difficult to choose a family because one already had been laid on my heart. I meet a friend from church for dinner once a month or so. She's a lot of fun, a little prickly like me, and I can be completely real with her. She started her family very young and thought she was done with three children, but the Lord had other plans and sent her five siblings to adopt.

Her eldest recently got his license, and months ago she mentioned how they would like to get a small car for the older children to drive because they only have a large van and her husband's work truck. After my conversation with G, I approached her at church, hoping she wouldn't be offended.

She wasn't.

When my dad brought over the Kia Saturday, we arranged to drop it off Sunday after church. When Geddy handed the eldest son the car keys and the three teenagers realized what was happening, they were very excited. I was glad we got to see their reaction.

We may never be in a position to give away a car again, but I will admit I would love to have a dozen more superfluous cars. I understand why Bob Barker stayed on The Price is Right for so long -- giving stuff away is sort of addictive.

If Mrs. Geter could only see me now

2008-09-06T11:27:00.000-07:00

I've always been bad at math and I never loved school. I believe I actually said, the day that I graduated from college, that if I ever had to go back to school I'd probably jump off the nearest bridge.

Oh, the irony, then, that my children are learning at home under my facilitation!

It's not that I don't enjoy learning. I do. Pre-algebra has never been on my list, though. So imagine my surprise when I embarked on the pre-algebra road with Larry this year and discovered I like it.

I really, really like it!

Mrs. Geter, who taught me geometry and algebra in high school, always believed I could do math. She thought if someone had slowed me down and really taught it to me, that I wouldn't have had any trouble. Unfortunately, by the high school level it's too late for that. She did, however, join me in my happy dance when I passed the *one* math course required for my college degree.

If sports statistics had been a high school course, I'd never have passed it. And yet I managed to keep pristine records for our state-runner-up high school baseball team. College math? Forget about it! And yet, I was right there at the press box/table, compiling, manipulating and arranging statistics for the baseball, football and basketball teams. Later, math was a huge part of my sportswriting career as well.

So why did I always think I was bad at it? Hmmm...

From early on, math didn't come easy to me, so I didn't want to do it. I was a precocious reader and writer so everyone thought I was "smart." For Pete's sake, I finished my Studybooks a year and a half early! And "smart" kids, in our tiny school, especially those with great parents who are ultra-involved in the PTA and Booster Club, got a great deal of grace.

Translated: I got away with being lazy.

I started really struggling when I was in third grade. Mrs. Jackson's class. You did NOT fool around in Mrs. Jackson's class, and I was afraid to tell her I didn't understand. She'd fix The Look on me and say, "Becky R., I know as smart as you are, you can do this work without any help from me!"

So I muddled through. I made my first C in ninth grade, Algebra I. I was horrified. Still, I was afraid to admit I didn't know what I was doing so I didn't ask for help. In 10th grade, I got Mrs. Geter for geometry.

For the first time, I understood and did well. Not A's well, but solid B's well. My lifelong feud with math (as Larry would say) was over. And then I hit Algebra II. Back to third grade and all the help I didn't ask for, all those years ago.

So imagine my shock when I determined to learn what I didn't learn back then alongside my child, and it became interesting. And fun. And...I understand it!

For all my ridicule-deflecting joking about my lack of math ability, I realize how extremely fortunate I am to be able to go back and pick up the knowledge I thought was lost to me forever. Second chances are rare, so I guess I won't be jumping off the nearest bridge after all.

Thanks for believing in me 20-odd years ago, Mrs. Geter. I'm gonna learn this junk yet.

Bulk buying at BJs

2008-08-28T19:47:00.001-07:00

I've always heard it's a good idea and I've even tried it once or twice with mediocre success, but lately I've been thinking how great it would be to do one big shop per month.

'Cause frankly, I'm exhausted!

Our schedule hasn't eased up much despite trying to combine errands and designate days. Our weeks normally involve some activity out of the house every day except Thursdays and sometimes Saturdays, which I guess is better than something every day. Most days I also wind up stopping in at the market for just a few things, by which phrase I usually am doomed to spend much more than I intend for less food than I actually need.

So we joined BJ's Tuesday. We don't have one in our town, but there's one 20 miles away in the town where Curly Sue takes dance. I figured if I was going to be there once a week for at least two hours anyway, I could do some shopping while she's in class. Milk's cheap and so is gas with a membership card.

We made a special trip there tonight, trying to beat the Labor Day crowds and lay in our first monthly supplies. We came in about $30 under our budget for the trip, and we still have a small weekly amount budgeted for fresh produce, eggs and anything else we need so I can stop back by on my weekly trip if I need to. I also intend to top off my gas tank while I'm there.

In addition to bulk amounts of staple items, we also picked up Rice Krispies Treats, cheese puff balls, animal crackers, peanut butter crackers, frozen pizzas and chewing gum. It's going to be tricky, seeing vats of treats sitting around and disciplining ourselves to ration them so they last an entire month. (I know my personal limits, so we left the 30-pack of candy bars on the shelf.)

Still, I'm confident this will be a successful experiment so I'm keeping myself accountable to myself by posting here. Hopefully in a month I'll be able to report how few trips I actually made to a regular market and how we stayed within a reasonable grocery budget as a result.

Do my children make me a better woman?

2008-08-27T11:30:00.000-07:00

I think so! I love this quote:

"Perhaps a better woman after all,
With chubby children hanging on my neck
To keep me low and wise."
-- Elizabeth Barrett Browning

Lessons from Ferrero Rocher

2008-08-26T05:21:00.000-07:00

Yesterday Moe used the restroom at the allergist, and when I automatically asked him if he'd washed his hands, he lied to me.

Three times.

I knew, because he was surreptitiously slipping his hands into his pockets while I was asking. He 'fessed up but knew he was in a world of trouble. Fortunately, we weren't at home, so I couldn't do my usual yell-before-I-think routine. (Which doesn't do any good, anyway.)

Lying is one of a very few remaining spankable offenses in our house, so he already was aware of what awaited him when he got home. Asking for guidance from the Holy Spirit -- knowing I was tired from a long drive and discouraged that the outing we'd eagerly anticipated was a bust because of the rain -- I stopped by the market, looking for something to make the "don't lie" lesson stick.

Moe went in with me and, mystified, carried out a box of a dozen shiny gold-wrapped Ferrero Rocher candies. At home, I sent the bigs downstairs and settled Moe and the candies on my bed. We got the ugliness out of the way and started talking, me with a running "Show me what to do!" prayer going the whole time.

"Aren't these lovely candies, and don't you want one? I know I do! Let's each eat just one."

As we enjoyed them -- him eyeing me rather suspiciously -- I asked him what would happen if we ate the whole box.

"We'd be very sick," Moe said.

Right, I told him. So if I said it's okay to eat one but not the whole box, isn't that to protect him from being sick? That's like lying -- it's not okay to lie because it can make your soul and mind sick.

I thought I saw a glimmer of understanding, but I wasn't sure.

So I went on (praying, praying), pointing at one of the remaining candies.

"See how shiny and perfect that wrapped candy looks?" I asked. "But what if I knew there was a worm inside it? Would I leave it alone so he could call his friends to get into the rest of the candies, or would I take out that one candy and throw it in the garbage to protect the other candies?"

Lying is like the worm in the candy, I told him. If we don't get rid of lying, it will infect the rest of your life. Eventually you might think it's okay to steal (pointing at another candy) or hurt people (another candy) or ... (other candies).

This time, I was sure. Tears streamed down his sweet little face as he promised me he would not lie again. I told him to choose another candy, and to talk to God alone and ask for help keeping his word while he enjoyed the candy. Then I left the room with a peaceful spirit and a quiet mind.

I wrote about this one because it's drastically different from most of the "lessons" my children learn. I am extremely hard on them -- Geddy will tell you, we both are -- and we have very high expectations. I yell, I am angry and frustrated often, but I am a work in progress and God clearly is not finished with me yet.

But, remembering I hadn't laid my child open like I am prone to do in situations like that one, I worried whether I had made my point well enough. Until goodnight blessings, when I heard a sweet little voice saying:

"Lord, thank you so much for a mom who loves me enough to teach me lessons about not lying."

And then I was sure. Tears were streaming down my own face as I promised I would not doubt the Holy Spirit's prompting again.

(I wanted to add that I have been jolted out of my parenting rut by a book called Children: The Challenge. I just finished a chapter on encouragement that spoke to me like nothing I've read before. Usually I shy away from parenting books but this one is worth recommending. A word of caution: it is not a Christian parenting book but written by a psychologist, and it was first published in 1964 so may seem a bit dated.)

Lordy, lordy

2008-08-22T06:38:00.000-07:00

I hit my 40s yesterday!

Hey, I don't mind admitting it...I figure I've earned every year of it. It's sort of a relief, really. Some of us spend the last half of our 30s dreading turning 40, so when the big day rolls around, you feel like you've finally made it.

We did some schoolwork, worked on some glaring character issues and took a nap yesterday. Red Lobster was dinner and Coldstone Creamery dessert, and in between we spent some time at Barnes and Noble. We even had time to run through BJs, comparing prices to see if a membership would be worth the fee.

Tomorrow we are heading to my parents' house for a traditional spaghetti dinner and Sunday after church we will go to my cousin's house to welcome home her newly graduated Marine son.

See? Life goes on. Here's to the 40s!

I've made a lot of boneheaded decisions in my life...

2008-08-16T11:39:00.001-07:00

...but enrolling the children in Georgia Virtual Academy is not one of them.

We started school Wednesday and it was brilliant. Not to say perfect, because communication still is an issue and we don't have history materials yet. In terms of how it works inside our home, though, it's a great fit.

My anti-math seventh-grader now says pre-algebra is his favorite subject. All three children are learning to work within a deadline and scheduling is helping us all. Even with a nasty cold working its way through the family, we nailed the school thing.

Hooray!

The gift of service

2008-08-15T06:55:00.000-07:00

The episode of "Friends" where Phoebe is trying to do something nice without getting anything in return is hilarious, but there's definitely some truth in the idea that do-gooders enjoy do-gooding because it makes us feel good.

I offered to help a scooter-bound lady in the grocery store yesterday but she wasn't having any part of it. Not content with a no, thank you, she yelled that she didn't need my help and I felt humiliated in front of everyone in the produce section and worse, my three children.

I won't hesitate to offer next time I see what I think is a need, though I might cower a little. But I sure as shot will be thinking a whole lot more about the person to whom I'm offering assistance than about myself.

And that's not a bad thing.

Happy first day of school!

2008-08-13T17:47:00.000-07:00

We officially started GVA today. As I anticipated, it took us a looooonnnnggg time to finish our lessons, but I was very encouraged by the quality of the work my children turned out. Larry had a rocky start with pre-algebra today, but eventually we both got the hang of it and he really seemed much more engaged with his math work than is typical.

Dish Network got re-installed today so the house -- already a mess -- got turned upside down, and the dogs dragged the trash all over the dining room. We finished school only about a half-hour before we had to leave for church. Still, it was a great feeling to file attendance and know the first day is behind us.

We get to try our hand at science tomorrow, and the children are anxious to get started with that subject. Hopefully, we'll hone our schedule and each day will get a bit easier until we have it down. I'm tired but pleased and am looking forward to what's next.

So shines a good deed in a weary world

2008-08-08T10:53:00.000-07:00

Today, Curly Sue and I drove 1.5 hours to the nearest Volvo dealer. Our little red wagon has been a bit ill lately -- specifically, its brakes -- and we wanted to have them checked. A couple of weeks ago, Geddy took off a Friday and we had scheduled maintenance performed, during which the mechanics could find nothing amiss. Still, the brakes have been grinding and not feeling quite right, so back we went.

Two seatbelts had to be replaced under warranty, and the service manager told me he'd have the brakes checked again. Volvo is meticulous about safety and this dealership is excellent about customer service, so we settled in with a book and snacks for a long wait.

Anticipating a bill of about $500, I transferred some cash from savings to checking this morning, glad I had the foresight when the service manager told us the brakes were going to need replacing. After a not-as-long-as-we-thought wait, I was presented with a bill of $0.00.

"Wait," I said. "I know I don't owe anything for the warranty work, but I need to pay for the brakes."

The manager grinned at me, dismissed me with a wave, and said, "Nope. See you later."

I don't know how or why he did it. Maybe it was a warranty thing, or maybe it was that they hadn't fixed the problem last time even though we expressed concerns. Maybe he's a really great guy who works at a really phenomenal car dealership (does one exist?!). Could be a combination.

Days like today, though, the handbasket to hell slows down a little.

Well-schooled

2008-08-05T08:11:00.000-07:00

Legally, our family is no longer homeschooling because the children are enrolled in Georgia Virtual Academy this year, which makes them public school students working at home. As I've said, we have committed to one year and will make future decisions based on this year's experience.

So far, I am very pleased with the materials provided by GVA, even if the communication leaves a bit to be desired. However, I am willing to squelch my misgivings because the more I see, the more I am convinced Geddy was correct in his observation that this program will be greatly beneficial to our family.

I am a great supporter of homeschooling but a bigger supporter of support; that is, encouraging all parents to make the best educational choices for their children according to their family's abilities and convictions.

Boy howdy, if I thought I took it on the chin from public school supporters in the six years we independently homeschooled, I didn't know what I was in for from the homeschooling community when I joined a virtual school!

I don't need anyone to point out my shortcomings. As Bridget Jones would say, I already feel like an idiot most of the time. But I'm doing just what I would encourage other folks to do, and that's the best I can for my children according to my family's abilities and convictions.

Go see Warren Barfield!

2008-08-03T18:29:00.000-07:00

Geddy, Larry, Curly Sue and I just got back from another Warren Barfield concert, and it happened to be Curly Sue's first-ever concert. She has had a sinus infection and started feeling ill a few songs from the end, but until then she really seemed to enjoy it. She likes his music almost as much as Geddy and I do, and Larry's game for pretty much any live music as long as he can share it with his friends Austin and Patrick.

We sat on the front row, which was pretty great -- it felt like he was performing just for us. As always, he was phenomenal. We were able to talk to him a bit after the show. He was friendly and pleasant though he had to be extremely tired, and he called Curly Sue beautiful. (She is, but it's always good to hear an outsider's opinion when it agrees with my own.) I took a photo of him with Larry but Curly Sue wasn't feeling up to it. Too bad, 'cause he's one of her heroes.

Anyway, once again I will highly recommend your catching one of his shows when you get a chance. He is a lot of fun!

Introspection

2008-08-01T09:45:00.000-07:00

I started Boundaries today and saw myself in Sherrie. Can't wait to find out how to fix myself.

At last/My schoolbooks have come along...

2008-07-31T10:43:00.000-07:00

We had an appointment with the orthodontist in the next town this morning, and on the way home I said to Larry, "Wouldn't it be great if there was a package waiting on the porch?" And there was!

Addressed to Larry, the package contained a portion of his texts and materials for our first year in Georgia Virtual Academy. School begins in 13 days and I was *assured* the materials would be here no later than two weeks before the start date, which would make this the date by which all the materials should be here. Not so. One box is better than no boxes, but still...

Shouldn't matter that much? On the contrary. I do not possess the "wait and see" gene. In fact, God replaced that particular gene with what we like to call the Rowland Fidgets, handed down through generations of Rowlands. And though I married out of the name, I kept the gene. So I do not wait and see...I fidget.

(Also, I like for people to do what they say they are going to do. That's not a genetic thing but a preference.)

Unpacking the box was fun, less so for Larry than for me. I think because he had traumatic procedures performed on him at the orthodontist, but also he might have just been hungry. We both giggled at the sight of our third copy of "The Hobbit" but applauded K12's good taste. A couple of other things we've already used as well, but I was thrilled to see some Homer, Shakespeare and Stevenson in among the literature selections.

He starts pre-algebra this year and that looks interesting. He also has life science and I am praying there is no dissection, because that very word conjures up the smell of formaldehyde, death and decay from high school anatomy.

On a happier note, Geddy is bringing home our (newshinyblue) laptop this afternoon. I know nothing about wireless Internet, which I am going to need soon for a trip, or setting up two computers to run at the same time at home, which I am going to need immediately. This is why I need friends.

I hope we get boxes for Curly Sue and Moe tomorrow. I hope, and I fidget.

Civil War Friday

2008-07-28T06:14:00.000-07:00

Geddy took off Friday so we could drive into the city to have my car serviced, and we decided to make a day of it by visiting Kennesaw Mountain and the Southern Museum of Civil War and Locomotive History.

We worried over that trip like a dog with a bone, trying to squeeze the most out of our day. We considered and rejected many options: Zoo Atlanta, Oakhurst Cemetery, the MLK Center/Sweet Auburn Historic District, World of Coca-Cola, Underground Atlanta, the High Museum of Art, even Six Flags. We finally narrowed our choices down to The Wren's Nest, home of author Joel Chandler Harris, and the two places we eventually visited.

We made a great choice, fueled by a coupon that got all of us into the museum for $18 and the fact that the mountain is a national park and, therefore, free. (Sorry, but it really is a factor, folks!) Kennesaw Mountain was neat, but I have a difficult time picturing long-ago battles raging on a peaceful green mountaintop.

The museum was impressive. My favorite exhibit was one on slavery before, during and after the Civil War, especially the difficulties freed slaves faced. I also really enjoyed the movie about Andrews' Raiders, who stole a train called The General and were chased down by its engineer, who ran a train called The Texas backwards to catch them. Disney made a movie about it with Fess Parker in the 50s called The Great Locomotive Chase. The General is on display at the museum, and The Texas is on display at the Cyclorama.

We did the museum's scavenger hunt and in the process discovered a jacket worn by George Armstrong Custer on his wedding day and some items belonging to bumbling Confederate General John Bell Hood.

Lunch at Steak and Shake, a wooden cap gun, a white bonnet and a Confederate cap, gas and admission to the museum was all it took to make this one a memorable day, and now the children (and I!) have a much broader view of the Civil War and slavery, and what the railroad meant in both.

Balance

2008-07-23T05:14:00.000-07:00

Melissa's thread at The Well-Trained Mind forums set off a dialogue -- me with myself -- about the way I do things, as primary homekeeper. One of the most interesting responses on the thread was this one, by Stacia:

" I've been slowly decluttering for over a year now. I can't even count how much we've tossed or donated. Now that it's mostly under control, my mental energy (and peace from all the serenity, lol) can be put to use finding ways to be a better/more-educated consumer (consume less to begin with, reuse more, etc...). So, for me, it was a progression of steps. Clear out. Then, change our habits for the better (to maintain all the work done in the clearing out stages)."

Stacia was able to put into words what I hope to gain from constantly working on the clutter. Doubts creep in, though. Do I really want to part with the craft things I brought home after my mother-in-law's death? Or the music, movies, etc. my brother left behind when he died? Someday I might need these towels, even though they're a bit ratty. I might not be able to afford to replace the kitchen gadgets if I suddenly decide I need them down the road.

So I pray for strength to believe wholeheartedly in the Lord's provision, take a deep breath and bless someone else with my possessions. I keep a few precious things from my loved ones who are gone and I donate trim and material to the Linus Project and pass along the music and movies to another brother who wants them. The towels go to Goodwill, where they will be made into bundles of shop rags to sell. The kitchen gadgets go into a box for my shortly-to-be-college-bound niece and nephew.

I am left with space to breathe, a reasonable amount of time to devote to caring for a reasonable amount of "stuff," and the peace that Stacia mentioned.

Check out this great blog by Jennifer, another member of the TWTM forums: Halving it All.

A day in the life

2008-07-21T04:38:00.000-07:00

(I'm really interested in reading about other people's days, so I'm posting a summer Monday here in the hopes of encouraging someone else to do the same.)

6:45 Wake, make bed. Wash lettuce and make G's lunch for work -- salad, baby carrots, homemade muffin from the freezer, banana, pretzels. Plug in iron.

7:00 Tidy living room. It's a disaster from the weekend's shopping and library trips, with bags of school supplies, books and movies from top to bottom. Oh yeah, and a load or two of laundry as well. G takes some things for Goodwill to the basement for me. Clean up dog mess outside. Set out chicken to thaw for dinner. Iron G's work outfit.

7:30 Curly Sue wakes in time to goof with Daddy and give him a g'bye lovey before he leaves for work. Turn on computer, answer e-mail and blog.

7:45 Shower and dress. Curly Sue walks the dogs and tidies her room, then gets herself a highly nutritious breakfast of Cookies-N-Cream Pop-Tarts. Moe is up and doesn't want breakfast, but does want to listen to his new "Indiana Jones: Kingdom of the Crystal Skull" soundtrack on the kitchen radio. Downstairs, I start a load of towels and wake Larry, who doesn't want breakfast either. I make myself an egg, toast and tea and shoo the dogs from the schoolroom, then blog, brush teeth and find shoes.

8:30 Gather trash and recyclables and take to dump. Moe has decided he wants Pop-Tarts and a glass of tea and Larry, after requesting a turn on his new video game, starts tidying his room in order to earn one. Curly Sue takes out Susie the New Dog, who does her business in the yard -- hooray!

8:50 Leave for dump and to fill car with gas. Station closest is out of gas and next one over has gas for 20 cents less per gallon anyway. Drop off one bag of trash, twice as many recyclables (yay!).

9:15 Arrive home and start to switch over laundry, then realize Geddy never finished drying his workout clothes Thursday -- ick. Wash them again, on hot, with baking soda. Moe asks for a turn on the computer but hasn't tidied his room, so he goes to earn it. Curly Sue plugs in her new pink guitar and rocks out for awhile, then moves to the keyboard. I clean the trash can and then announce I'm going to do my Bible study, hoping that will inspire everyone else to do their quiet time.

10:15 Everyone has done quiet time. My 7 and 2-year-old nephews arrive to spend the day. It's their sister's 5th birthday, so she and a little friend and the mamas are having a girls day out. It's love at first sight for Susie and the 2-year-old.

11:30 Curly Sue occupies the 2-year-old while I make sandwiches. The big boys have long since disappeared into the family room for video game time. They eat and help clean up, then disappear again. The dining room chairs are pushed against the wall so I can put a rug under the table, and the baby likes to play under there. I put down a pillow and blankets, and he, Curly Sue and Susie lie down to rest and read books and play. I eat my salad and think of 300 more things to put on my to-do list.

12:30 Larry wants to check his e-mail, so I finish my blog update and turn over the mouse. We really need a second computer! But first, I have to check Perez Hilton and catch up on my celebrity gossip.

1:40 Baby and Susie go to sleep under the table while I tidy up a bit and wash cherries and grapes to put in the fridge. Curly Sue is downstairs playing her guitar -- uplugged -- and the little boys are on to some kind of Harry Potter video game now. Larry is playing with the new camera and getting some super cute photos of Susie. I file my Staples Easy Rebates -- $7 on an electric pencil sharpener, $1.99 on mechanical pencils.

2:45 Marked some things off my list but haven't chopped vegetables. Baby is still asleep, so I have a snack and read some Erle Stanley Gardner instead.

4:30 SIL just called to say she's about 15 minutes out. Baby is awake and has hit his head twice, hard, on the underside of the table. He is ready to go home. Clean out and reorganize the school supply closet and distract baby by having him hand me things. Electric pencil sharpener is a piece of junk, and I decide to return it sometime this week and forfeit the Easy Rebate.

5:30 Geddy comes home from work with terrible stomach cramps, so I'm off to Walgreen's to find a cure. Stir fry is done and warming and rice is in the cooker, nephews are kissed and picked up. I probably smell like onions and peppers, but it's better than B.O., I suppose.

7:30 This...is...Jeopardy!

8:00 Dinner dishes and an inventory of the fridge.

8:30 Doggie bedtime does not go well. Susie is not happy about having flea medicine squirted between her shoulderblades, so she tries to roll over and I speak sharply to her and force her up. She nips at me and I pop her on the nose. She stops speaking to me briefly, but I bribe her with cheese.

8:45 I read "Lucy and the Green Door" and "Esmerelda the Rag Doll" to Curly Sue. Prayers, hugs and kisses (and nosy-rosys) and bedtime for children. Geddy, in sudden dire need of clean work clothing, starts a load, which means I'll be up late-ish and early-ish getting them dry and wrinkle-free. Meanwhile, the load of boys' clothes I started earlier today has to be dried and folded before I can even get Geddy's in the dryer. (*sigh*) More work in the kitchen, and suddenly the living room sofa and loveseat are once again covered with clothing that needs to be folded and/or put away. I add "orthodontist," "drop Curly Sue at Natalie's," "grab lunch," "pick up Curly Sue in town," "bookstore," and "allergist" to my to-do list for tomorrow, along with "remember to give Curly Sue money for lunch" and "see if Geddy still has gift certificates for movie theatre."

9:40 Moe comes upstairs in tears. Seems he was looking for something in the hallway when Larry somehow tripped over him and scraped off the ginormous scab on his elbow. I apply a bandage and a kiss and send him back to bed. I resist the urge to ask him how he was looking for something in the hall if he was in bed like he was SUPPOSED to be. I give myself a mental high-five.

9:52 Geddy decides he can wear something else tomorrow.

9:55 I finish blogging and drag myself to bed, praying I don't forget to set the alarm.

And that's my day! Post yours and link it in the comments, if you want.

Weekend update

2008-07-20T16:45:00.000-07:00

(My apologies to SNL.)

I am the proud new owner of:

1. A dog of indeterminate age, called Susie, who appears to be a mix of wire-haired Jack Russell terrier and beagle. JoJo is tolerant thus far, and my aging and ailing Gram thinks I'm an answer to her prayer for a loving home for her doggie. Maybe I am. I kinda like this little girlie (but don't tell anyone).

2. Five new dresses and a new pair of strappy heels. All hail clearance season!

3. A very green digital camera. Seriously, about the color -- remember green apple flavored Now & Laters? Uh-huh.

4. Assorted school supplies, all irresistible at between a nickel and $1.29. I'm stocked up on erasers...bring on the algebra!

5. All of Stevie Wonder's No. 1 hits on CD.

Also, I got to help my sweet friend Kelly celebrate the impending arrival of Baby No. 3, a little boy with an as-yet-undetermined name who is supposed to join us in September. She has two girls, so I think we all overwhelmed her at the shower with little boy things.

Church rocked this morning but I haven't formed my thoughts on the sermon that kicked off an eight-week series this morning. Maybe I'll post more on that later, maybe not.

It was a fantastic weekend!

Sanctuary

2008-07-14T08:58:00.000-07:00

Months ago, I offhandedly proposed to Geddy the idea of turning our breakfast nook into a sitting area for me. After all, I reasoned, he has his drum area and the children have their own bedrooms. We have a formal dining room with a large table, perfect for using at mealtime, and the children have desks in our schoolroom. Why shouldn't I have a quiet place of my own?

He thought it was a good idea but time and money made it a low priority for us. However, things came together over the weekend when we found a good home for our kitchen table and chairs and found some wicker furniture, a cushion and throws on clearance.

The loveseat, coffee table and baker's rack are from Big Lots, the rug is from Ross and the cool lamp/shelf, sheers and window scarf are from Wal-Mart. We bought three bar stools for the children to use at the counter, and one will double as a desk chair for me when I do planning on the desk part of the baker's rack.

My recipe and homemaking books are on the baker's rack and the shelf under the coffee table is for my Bibles, journal and study materials. The candle garden was a Christmas gift from Curly Sue.

My days are pretty hectic sometimes, and I hope to find rest and refreshment in my little sanctuary.

The lure of the puddle

2008-07-14T06:49:00.001-07:00

Following a couple of booming thunderstorms and heavy downpours, The Hat Trick headed out on their bikes to play with Neighbor Boy. Within 15 minutes, Neighbor Boy came a-knockin'.

"Umm...Mrs. B? Ummm....ummm...Moe and Curly Sue wrecked on their bikes."

This is not uncommon, but usually it involves hurt feelings rather than hurt bodies. This time, though, it was definitely hurt bodies. By the time I got down the street, Neighbor Boy's mom was walking Moe's bike up the hill -- she lives closer to the wreck site than we -- and Moe was a horrifying sight with blood dripping down his legs and arm. Curly Sue was already in Neighbor Boy's driveway, seemingly okay except for a few scrapes.

Geddy carried Moe home and put him straight in the tub to try and dig out road trash from his wounds. Moe is tough, but he was insisting that he's never leaving the house again until he's old enough to drive, so we knew he was hurting.

Turns out Curly Sue's thumb got bent oddly underneath her as she went down, so off to the ER we went. It wasn't broken but it was badly bruised, so she went into a hard splint, wrap and sling. Moe's bleeding stopped so we didn't take him in, but he is bruised all over and scraped/cut on both knees and elbows, face, chin, arms, legs and torso. He is very sore today.

The last thing Geddy said to them as they went out to play was, "Hey, you already had your showers, so don't get too wet or muddy." And the first thing they did was head for a ginormous puddle at the bottom of a hill, at full speed. Moe apparently lost control when he hit the puddle, which was deeper than he thought, and slammed into Curly Sue.

We've always been insistent that the children wear their helmets when they ride and we were very glad they were wearing them yesterday!

The return of the king

2008-07-11T05:49:00.000-07:00

My Larry is home -- hooray!

He had some...interesting? horrifying?...stories to tell about his youth group's camping trip to Fall Creek Falls. He ran out of money, but only because he spent some playing games in Cici's and because he blew some in the general store on important stuff like nose clips and rubber balls. Fortunately, he had enough to buy lunch on the way home, but unfortunately he didn't have any to buy an Icee at QT. (Geddy and I solved that by stopping in at Burger King for a frozen Coke.)

A non-poisonous -- we hope -- spider bit him and we'll have to keep an eye on that spot just in case. A spark from the campfire burned him. And a new friend spent part of the trip throwing rocks at his own privates, which was a new one on me. I spent a few minutes making sure Larry didn't participate in such an idiotic activity and was relieved to hear he didn't cave to that particular peer pressure.

He brought home one penny, a duffel full of stinky clothing, a disposable camera and a treasure trove of memories. Rock on!

Rewarded patience...or is it persistence?

2008-07-10T04:24:00.001-07:00

I keep visiting a local used book sale -- hardbacks $1! paperbacks 50 cents! -- often, in hopes of discovering a treasure.

I was rewarded for my patience/persistence Saturday as I brushed the dust off not one but three gems. One is a collection of Depression-era recipes, another is an original Thornton W. Burgess -- "The Burgess Book of Nature Lore" -- and the third is a vintage homemaking book called "The I Hate to Housekeep Book: When and how to keep house without losing your mind" by Peg Bracken.

So far, the homemaking book is fun. I'm up to chapter three ("Stains, Spots, Blots, Scars and Dueling Wounds"), in which Bracken takes issue with "some housekeeping book or other" with its advice about avoiding embarrassment with your pastry brush.

I have been embarrassed by many things in my life, but never by my pastry-brush bristles. This is true of most women, I believe. Of all the things one has to blush over in this world, the color of one's pastry-brush bristles comes at the absolute tail end of the list. But this approach is characteristic of most home experts. They truly want to be helpful, but they go too far, and in doing so, they set up too many straw men to knock over.

Ain't that the truth! I look forward to reading more of her wisdom.

The children and I will enjoy reading the Burgess aloud, and as soon as I figure out the "slow" setting on my oven, I plan to bake a mean "Good Cake Without Frosting" as well. That's a pretty good store of advice and entertainment for the Low Low Price of $3.

I know it's early, but there was a sale!

2008-07-09T20:12:00.000-07:00

I really love coloring with new crayons. (Yes, I know how old I am. Pipe down.) I love the smell of new paper and how neat my handwriting is on that first page of a notebook. I make the crisp e's with the point on the front, even, but that usually goes the way of the Dodo by page 4.

One of the things we're doing differently this year -- in addition to not starting school this week -- is taking the children on a special back-to-school "date." We intended to take each child separately, but it worked out that we could take both the littles tonight while Larry is on a junior high church camping trip, so off to their favorite Mexican restaurant we went.

Over cheese dip and sticky soda, I talked to them about the changes our participation in a virtual academy will make in our schedule and priorities. We encouraged them to talk about their goals (Curly Sue would like extra one-on-one help with math, Moe is interested in taking an art class and learning about cars). We made a new family rule against the words "I hate" preceding any school subject.

Then came the fun part: After assuring them we would provide basics like paper and pencils, we gave them each a $20 budget and helped them choose some things to help make Aug. 13, our first day of school, special. Both immediately went for book bags, Moe for a Transformers design and Curly Sue for one with a tiny plush frog hanging from the zipper.

Curly Sue chose pens with cool designs, some star-shaped Post-Its and a book cover with hearts. Moe chose a calculator, a small construction paper pad, a Jeff Gordon book cover and -- oh, so neat! -- a rubber band ball.

We have some other things on our fall revival list, like cowboy boots, jeans, a Mary-Kate and Ashley shirt and a Transformers comforter, but for tonight it was enough to stash away some new, crisp things.

And for your information, I totally resisted the urge to sniff and make pointy e's on the construction paper pad!

Run runaway

2008-07-07T06:06:00.000-07:00

I am not the kind of person to be flattered by great declarations of past crushes and sighs or regrets over what might have been. (Really, what's the point of rehashing that kind of stuff once you're properly grown up, anyway?) And when I think of how I had to sit on the sidelines so often because I didn't measure up, the intended flattery only serves to tick me off.

The lesson here, boys and girls, is that it's not nice to reinvent the past for your own purposes. Folks get hurt. Stray comments, even ones meant as compliments, may open up old wounds and new cans of worms. So "beware of the half truth, for you may have gotten hold of the wrong half." Yeah, like the backside of a politician.

See chameleon, lying there in the sun
All things to everyone
Run, runaway
-- Slade, 1984

Sneaker saga

2008-07-05T05:26:00.000-07:00

I really like to shop at Famous Footwear. It's the only place I can find decent sneakers for everyone, and typically the prices are at least reasonable if not incredible. We're fortunate that the children aren't particular about brands or styles, although I prefer New Balance because they seem to last longer and come in wide sizes, which fit my boys better.

Larry's foot decided to grow three sizes this week (ala the Grinch) so he informed me Thursday morning that he needed new sneakers. I told him we had plans to go in a couple of weeks and he explained that he meant he couldn't wear his sneakers at all, that his foot had completely outgrown his shoes. We already had plans to walk in the parade yesterday morning, so I arranged our schedule to squeeze in sneaker shopping.

I should probably explain that our boys basically get a new pair of shoes once or twice a year. Their old sneakers -- if they can still wear them -- become their play shoes and their new ones are for everything else. (They also each get a pair of knockoff Crocs.) A buy one, get one half price sale is ongoing at FF, so I had both boys fitted up with brand-new New Balance wides and even splurged on Gold Toe socks -- also on sale.

Satisfied that my day's shopping had gone well and we were caught up on our needs, with the added bonus that I had found a super-soft set of organic cotton sateen sheets for our bed for an incredibly low price at Ross, we headed out to camp to pick up our much-missed Miss Curly Sue.

Who discovered shortly after arriving home that she had left her sneakers at camp.

Sigh.

Let's gather 'round the campfire and sing our campfire song

2008-07-02T05:06:00.000-07:00

...our C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E song/And if you don't think that we can sing it faster then you're wrong/But it'll help if you just sing along...

(Can anyone name that cartoon? Hint: He lives in a pineapple under the sea.)

You'll notice I haven't mentioned that Curly Sue is at church camp this week. That would be because Mama has been trying not to think about it too much. Oh, it was one thing to send my completely ready but still "my baby" 12-year-old -- and that was plenty hard! -- but my sweet and silly 8-year-old darling girl has been another story.

Plus, she left me here completely surrounded by boys. Now, I love boys, especially my boys, but I share so many girls-only moments with Curly Sue every day that I'm really missing that interaction. She is a constant source of encouragement to me and will be very proud that I've lost another pound in her absence.

It helps to know she's having a fantastic time with her friends from church, and she makes friends very easily so hopefully she's spending time with new ones as well. She'll swim and eat and play and exercise and worship and learn, but for the first time in her life I'll miss out on nearly a whole week of being there with her while she does.

"And the face in the water looks up
And she shakes her head, as if to say
That it's the last time you'll look like today"
(Genesis, "Ripples")

Man, I'm in a melancholy mood today. I must away to the elliptical to work off some of my not-so-lovely lady lumps.

The Professor speaks

2008-07-01T04:08:00.000-07:00

Larry occasionally makes comments in such a literary way that it's pure comedy. Last week when The Hat Trick was at Youth Police Academy, I mentioned that I had seen some fruit outside the meeting room and wondered if any of my children had partaken. Larry said:
"Yes, and it would appear my lifelong feud with bananas has come to an end."

What exactly is worthless?

2008-06-30T10:14:00.000-07:00

Something I read in my One Year Bible this morning has been weighing on me all day. The OT reading (NIV) was in 2 Kings 17, where in verse 15, Israel and Judah have rejected God's decrees and the covenant He made with their fathers. It goes on to say:

"They followed worthless idols and themselves became worthless."

They became worthless. Because they followed worthless idols, they became worthless.

I have felt worthless, and lately. I'm "only" a mom, I'm "only" at home, I'm "only" a wife, I "only" volunteer at church. I'm a corporate wife, so at events I often get The Look, and sometimes The Lip Service: "Oh, how wonderful! I wanted to be at home when my children were little, but I told Todd I simply could.not.handle being around nobody but the children every.single.day. And of course now I [have a really amazing, highly paid, fulfilling, uses-my-college-education job, and you don't]." (turns away) "Oh, Tinky! Did you catch that simply incredible conference in D.C. last week?" (and...scene!)

Conversation over, and I've shrunk two inches despite my carefully chosen heels.

And my homeschool friends: a medic training to be a firefighter; an accountant; former teachers who plan to return to the field; a scientist; a mathematician, a restaurant owner. They shuttle their children to several activities a week, write their own curricula, run five miles a day, eat a completely sugar-free and organic diet and grow their own non-genetically modified wheat for grinding and baking bread. They study Greek and Hebrew and Latin at night and their vacations consist of mission trips to build homes for the poor in Mexico.

Me? I'm a former sportswriter, a former editor, a former journalist, a former freelance writer, a former wage-earner. No, I don't plan to go back to work. No, I don't intend to write a novel. No, I don't want to teach someday. I make terrible biscuits and I yell at my children sometimes and I don't know how to iron a puffy sleeve on a little girl's dress. I mostly kill things instead of growing them, we eat Lucky Charms for dinner too often and I like to go to the beach twice a year, at least, and not because I want to build things for poor people.

But am I worthless? I don't think so. Not according to the Biblical definition from this morning. It may be God's will for others to have high-profile jobs and other important gifts, but my job is to be busy at home and love my husband and children. So no matter how I feel sometimes, I know that to strive to live within God's will for me is to avoid the lure of worthless idols that will make me worthless in God's eyes.

(And now I have to tend to one of my important jobs, a 12-year-old with an unexplained 102-degree fever. He doesn't think I'm worthless, either. And thanks to Rhonda for her post today, which set this one in motion.)

Weighing in on Wal-Mart

2008-06-30T04:38:00.000-07:00

Time is a precious commodity around here, and to spend more of it with Geddy and The Hat Trick, I have to streamline. Money, a "needful and precious thing," doesn't go very far right now either. With The Hat Trick's food and environmental allergies under control, we can go back to buying basic ingredients for our meals, so we cheated on our regular spendy market and hit Wal-Mart over the weekend.

The very idea gave me the skeevies. I loathe crowds and huge stores, and Wal-Mart's bullyish corporate tactics bother me. But there's also an ingrained thrift gene that very much appreciates a purple dance leotard for $8 and Transformers pajamas for $6.50 and a glow-in-the-dark Yoda shirt for $7. The Crystal Light lemonade mix-ins I buy as a treat are 1/3 cheaper per box and we can afford a few more splurges like chocolate chips and Pringles for Fun Fridays when they're so reasonably priced. The new, environmentally friendly Purex laundry liquid is a steal, as are organic grapes and hormone and antibiotic-free chicken breasts. Surprisingly, the produce looked fresher than I've seen in pricier stores lately (and tastes great!).

After reading this article highlighting the difference between optimal and very good nutrition, I realized what an idol I've been making of our diet and shopping habits. I also tried to educate myself on what Wal-Mart is all about, and I came to the conclusion that I've bought into a lot of negative hype without doing my own research.

I just can't afford to be a snob any longer.

Meeting Cooter

2008-06-27T06:29:00.000-07:00

Geddy and a co-worker drove to Atlanta last night to talk business with an old friend he'd never met before, Ben Jones -- Cooter from "The Dukes of Hazzard."

Mr. Jones has written a book called Redneck Boy in the Promised Land: The Confessions of "Crazy Cooter," and Geddy met him at a book signing. Way back when we had cable and/or DirecTV, our kiddos got hooked on reruns of the Dukes, and the boys frequently play a PS2 game featuring the the Dukes and their General Lee. Cooter is no stranger to them.

Imagine their delight (being genetically inclined rednecks) when their daddy brought home a copy of Mr. Jones' book with the following inscription: "To 'Larry,' 'Curly Sue' and 'Moe,' the Bo, Luke and Daisy of Carrollton. Ben Jones, aka 'Cooter.'"

Better still, Mr. Jones extracted a solid promise from G that he will let him meet the three of them when he comes down to work on his business with G's company.

He really is a good old boy!

I've been tagged!

2008-06-26T06:15:00.000-07:00

My good friend Angela has sent the following instructions:

Answer the four questions, let the tagger know you've answered them, then tag four fellow bloggers. Let them know by leaving a comment on their blogs.

So, here goes.

10 years ago: I was hoping to become pregnant with child #2, working full-time evenings as design editor at a small daily newspaper and enjoying our new home. I was also laying the groundwork for being a full-time, homeschooling mama but I didn't know that yet.

5 things on my list today: Read Erle Stanley Gardner's "The Case of the Green-Eyed Sister." Laundry. Get my parents' mail and feed/water their animals. Buy eggs. Take littles for allergy shots.

Snacks I enjoy: Sharp cheese; Hickory Barbecue Wavy Lays dipped in Frank's Hot Sauce; Hershey bars. I can't have these any longer, so I'm learning to enjoy vanilla yogurt with raisins, popcorn and fruit instead.

Things I would do if I were a millionaire: Retire my husband. Completely stock the new library in my tiny hometown. Be one of those anonymous donors who meets immediate needs for folks who don't like to ask for help. Hire someone to clean my house.

Places I have lived: I've only ever lived in GA: East Point, Whitesburg, Athens, Carrollton, Luthersville and Newnan.

I now tag THREE people, 'cause I don't have that many blogging friends.
Misty, Our Homeschool Journey
Robin, MyPursuit Of...
Kelly, By Grace and Faith

P.S. to Angela and Rhonda: You caught me on a good day, LOL!